"Not only am I the host of the show, but I'm also a vampire and a werewolf," Jimmy Kimmel said during his introduction of last night's episode of "Jimmy Kimmel Live!" "I hope I don't have to kill anyone tonight."
This kicked off the "New Moon"-heavy episode, which featured the only interview of Kristen Stewart, Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson together. It also featured a performance by Death Cab for Cutie, whose "Meet Me At The Equinox" was the first single off the album.
Ever since he responded to then-girlfriend Sara Silverman's admission of indiscretion with Matt Damon by getting Harrison Ford, Lance Bass and Josh Groban to film an anthem to his relationship with Ben Affleck, Jimmy Kimmel has been my favorite late night talk show host. He cemented that even more when he asked Taylor Lautner the best question yet out of the "New Moon" press tour ...
"When you and Taylor Swift are making out, does Kanye West ever burst in?"
Though this was met only with laughter, Taylor did quasi-deny his relationship with TSwift by answering Jimmy's query with, "Where did you hear this?"
"I don't know, on like the news or something?" Jimmy replied.
But Jimmy also took the smart approach when it came to asking about the Rob and Kristen relationship.
"I know you guys don't like to talk about the personal relationship and everything like that," he said to the duo, "so Taylor, what's going on with these two?"
Once again Taylor played mum, answering, "I wish I could tell you."
The three "New Moon" stars settled into their fashion fortes with Kristen arriving in a strapless black dress with what looked like tassels, Rob in a black suit, white shirt, tie-less number, and Taylor in a black blazer and skinny tie with jeans. "This is why the Beatles stopped performing," Jimmy announced when the three entered the studio to rabid screams from fans.
"There are very few times when we all do go out together," Rob admitted when he was asked about the fan reactions. "You say, do you want to go out for a little scream? And you go outside the hotel and start screaming with everyone else."
You don't even have to go all the way outside, you just stick your head out the window," Kristen added with a laugh. Maybe that's why we've seen so many shots of them on balconies?
Jimmy also had to throw in some token muscle questions to Taylor, but Kristen was quick to throw some jokes in about the commonly asked question.
"I think his mental transformations really, really overshadowed the [physical]" she said. "I don't think so," Jimmy responded.
Rob said he had been told by people that, with "Twilight" reinventing the vampire persona, he could really look however he wanted.
"[I thought] just having a kind of prepubescent girls body was going to work out," he said, "and then Taylor comes on and I'm like, geez I'm going to get fired."
There were some token werewolf questions as well. "Why is it that werewolves have to have their shirts off?" Jimmy asked."There are lots of justifications. We are not objectifying our men in this movie," Kristen joked with a laugh.
"It also makes me wonder if Matthew McConaughey is a werewolf?" Jimmy tossed back to laughter.
Apparently I was the one person who didn't know Rob had an alleged ass injury, but he was quick to elaborate after Kristen shared she had injured herself by tripping over a rock. "My ass just couldn't take the strain of the first [film]," Rob said. "They had to bring a physiotherapist in. I had to get an ass massage on the first day."
"You see what these people went through for you?" Jimmy yelled to the audience.
The show then opened up to audience questions. One girl asked Taylor for his shirt, which he said he would give to her after the show. Another especially creepy looking man asked Kristen if she'd had her swine flu shot yet, which weirded her out since she had apparently just gotten in the day before.
A woman asked Rob why he always had his shirts misbuttoned. "My center of gravity's all messed up, I think. It affects everything," he said. Another girl asked Kristen what book was her favorite, and she replied "New Moon" with the explanation that it gave her the most range as far as acting out Bella.
And then there was Jimmy's sidekick, Guillermo. If any of you didn't see Guillermo's "dubbed" werewolf fight scene from earlier in the show, it's well worth a watch (example of one line of dubbed dialogue: "He's not a doggy, he's a chupacambra!") Guillermo walked up to the question mic with a pink "New Moon" t-shirt on and his belly hanging over his pants and asked Kristen, "Will you marry me?" Without half as much hesitation as Bella has at the end of "New Moon" (whoops! Spoiler alert!) she replied, "Yes!"
"You know, you have to do it now. You said it on television," Jimmy informed her. As the show went to commercial, Guillermo got up on the stage and chased after Kristen, while she got up off the couch and ran away and Jimmy jokingly tackled him. Now, if only RPattz had recorded a video called, "I'm F**king Kristen Stewart"…
For a look back at the rest of the "New Moon" cast's talk show appearances this week, check out Hollywood Crush's Twilight Watch.
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