By Emily Donahue
After a three month hiatus, the kids from “90210” returned to the hollowed halls of West Bev High Tuesday. Upon return from winter breaks spent in far-flung locations like St. Barths, Berkeley and Vegas, our favorite high schoolers went back to their lives of homework, parties and various forms of blackmail.
Navid, unable to give up on his crusade to reveal Jasper as a drug-dealer and all-around bad guy, returns to school armed with Berkeley-scored coke and a plan to frame Jasper that ultimately backfires on him. Aside from appearing to psychically undo plots against him, Jasper stays busy by hanging the threat of revealing Annie as his homeless uncles’ killer over her head and sending her non-stop “Love. Forever” texts, while Annie tries to ward off everyone in the school from questioning how she could still be dating the shoe-in for the Most Likely To Become A Serial Killer superlative.
Couple watch: Naomi and Liam are finally rid of wicked-sister Jen (where did she go!?) and free to start dating, which they kick off with a private beachside dinner in a tent, obvs. N and L quickly realize they have nothing in common, but a determined Naomi brushes that reality aside and re-diagnoses the problem as nerves. Nothing the drop of a Burberry trench and the bottom of a boat can’t cure.
The Teddy-Silver-Dixon threesome continues. Silver has magically recovered from bi-polar disease and Dixon is into her again, but, like Teddy, Silver’s mom has passed away, so he is into her too. Silver likes Teddy and wants to give the playboy the benefit of the doubt that he isn’t hooking up with anything with blond hair and legs (or his sister, who inexplicably draped herself all over him at the winter formal). Dixon (who finds himself apart of not one, but two plans of deceit, plus the surf team — how does he do it?) manages to successfully convince both Teddy and Silver that neither like one another.
The adults participate in their own love triangle that ends in bonding over beach yoga, but does anyone really care about them?
And finally, the moment we’ve all been waiting for: the girl-on-girl Adrianna-Gia-kiss. Was anyone else fooled into thinking this could be for real? That Adrianna, a proven heterosexual (she was pregnant, lest we forget), has really been a lesbian all this time? Of course that wasn’t it, it was all just another ruse, used to make Gia’s ex jealous. Typical.
And finally, patiently waiting in the wings with her new leopard Fendi baguette, hoping for Liam to wake-up and realize he was meant to surf with her the rest of their lives, is Ivy. Ivy didn’t even seem to get an invite to the party this week, so next week, let the girl fight begin! Unless I am fooled by the promos … again.
What did you think of the return of "90210"?
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