Just a reminder to all you “Life Unexpectees” out there: Lux is 15-years-old. Fifteen years old! I say this because, this week, it is very easy to forget that a girl who regularly stays at her boyfriends apartment, refers to her parents by their first names, constantly throws their failures and mistakes in their faces and who barters her love and good behavior in exchange for a job for her boyfriend, is only 15.
Likewise, it is difficult to remember that Cate and Baze (and Abbie for that matter) are not 15. What father offers to stop sleeping with his daughter’s aunt if she stops sneaking out to sleep with her boyfriend? What woman thinks it’s a good idea to sleep with her sister’s baby daddy? What mother shows up at her daughter’s deliquent boyfriends’ apartment, not to drag her home by her hair, but to see if she can offer him a job? (She can’t, btw, because even being the “star” of a Portland radio morning show does not cancel out the fact that Bug didn’t finish high school. Moral of the story" stay in school!)
And since Cate can’t help Bug earn the money he needs to stay in what is essentially a secret clubhouse for sex, then Baze will. Baze owns a bar! Baze doesn’t care about degrees or work experience. Can you carry limes from a cellar? If I throw keys at you, can you open a lock? Yes and yes? Hired!
One problem solved, on to the next one. Cate, Baze and Lux have to meet with social-worker Fern because Lux broke city curfew. Parents might not care if their kids are trolling around the streets in the wee hours of the night, but for pete’s sake the city still does! And these three people, that spend the majority of their day figuring out ways to make each other miserable, decide they cannot be apart.
So here’s the plan to stay together: Just lie. It will not matter if the lies corroborate, just say you saw “Billie Elliot,” say you’re happy, say Baze likes Math (that’s not even lying, because no one will suspect he actually has a friend named Math, because no one else in the world has a friend named Math.)
But you can’t fool Fern. Fern tried to see “Billie Elliot” and tackle fractions last Tuesday and she knows. It can’t happen. It’s not feasible. So let’s get real here, OK? Let’s see Lux cry and relive childhood abuse and storm out saying she will never forgive Cate for giving her up. Let’s hear Cate remember being 16 and pregnant and alone. Now that’s a family.
But did I mention there is a bright ray of light for these troubled souls? These issue-laden individuals have an honest-to-goodness therapist right at their fingertips, ready to dispense real therapist advice. Couldn’t you tell it was Abbie? Abbie, who loves dirty martinis, still lives with her alcoholic mother and jokes about “Mom’s box of wine” (ha ha ha), who is willing and able to hit the sack with Baze behind her sister’s back whenever he wants. What more could you ask for in a mental health professional?
And when Lux says to Baze: Either we have a ketchup eating competition and you stop checking that I slept in my bed or I’m moving back in with Cate, Baze let’s her go. Because Baze is maturing. And Baze has Bug now; Baze needs “Dad practice” and Bug is dad-less, so it works out perfectly. And parenting boys is just teaching them about stocking liquor and ordering peanuts anyway. Baze can handle that.
And Ryan gets tricked into forgiving Cate, because if Lux has to try to forgive her for sending her into foster care for 15 years, then he has to forgive her for cheating on him. What’s the difference? Ryan doesn’t know. And, anyway, he misses Cate’s cold feet, the bags of ice in his bed just aren’t the same.
You can almost smell the reinstated parental rights.
What did you think of this episode? Was Lux being out of line when she screamed at Cate for leaving her when she was born or do you think she has a point? What do you think of Baze and Abbie? Finally, do you have any friends named Math?
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