Everyone knows that high school dances are the perfect setting for all things dramatic and scandalous — and Rosewood High’s "Carnivale" — themed fete was no exception. Funhouse mirrors, fortune-tellers, a live boy band (2AM Club, I see big things in your future!) and a high stakes car raffle elevated this above any ordinary school function on TV though.
But first — Aria had to be convinced to even go to the dance. Still heartbroken over Fitz finding her text from A and ending their secret make-out sessions, Aria feigns depression over her parents' rocky marriage and opts to skip the event instead.
"You could win a Toyota!" Spencer argued. “But look what happened with my KIN,” Aria replied. "You could be my date," Emily suggested. "Do I look like Samantha Ronson to you?" Aria scoffed. She didn't need fancy prizes or friendship to convince her though, what Aria really wanted was to find an ominous note from A in her fortune cookie. "OK, I'm in," she said.
In anticipation of the raging hormones typically associated with homecoming and dances, Real Love Waits moved to two-a-days and work-shopped the clubs denying-sex-skills through intense role play. New so-awkward-and-nerdy-I'm-actually-kind-of-hot-like-"The-OC's"-Seth-Cohen (remember him he was played by Adam Brody?) character, Lucas, must try to deny Hanna's faux sexual advances. When he shows a glimmer of attraction to the love-starved homecoming Queen hopeful, Hanna begins to wonder if it would be that different for her reputation to trade in the virgin preacher's son for the school nerd. Thankfully Mona and that "really funny" humor she is known for was on hand to remind Hanna of the consequences of falling from the top of the high school hierarchy. She steps in save the day and harass Lucas, referring to him as a "shim" and "hermie," even though there is no reason to remotely think he might actually be a hermaphrodite. Hilarious!
Spencer invites Alex to the dance and wonders if she should rig the car raffle because he goes to public school and has a part-time job so he must be really poor even though he slipped a wad of twenties into her back pocket and bought a new suit for the occasion. I mean, they weren’t crisp twenties or anything, so maybe she had a point, I don't know. Sister Melissa finishes Alex off though, shaming him back to his side of the tracks where he probably lives with his country club owner dad. Aria and Fitz (who cut his hair specifically for Aria — isn't that cute?) attempt to reveal their relationship to the school again, this time by yelling about it in the hallways. Why won't anyone pay attention to a teacher-student sex scandal in this town? It's so frustrating.
And finally, put off by the Ronson comment, Emily continued to struggle with her sexuality. Accepting Toby's invitation to go to the dance, she shocks both Maya and her friends. "But you like making out with me," Maya whined. "But I stole his medical records and he wants to kill us," Hanna warned. Emily ignores them all and goes with Toby to the dark, empty chem lab instead. He tries to confess to his inappropriate relationship with step-sister Jenna (who he leaves standing among the fun house mirrors, not that she can see herself in them, but still creepy, right? I mean you used to sleep with her and now she's blind, have a little consideration.) Anyway, Emily sees his 901 Free At Last tattoo and she does not want to hear what he has to say. She punches him in the face. He keeps trying to talk. She shoves him into a shelf full of glass beakers and bunsen burners. He still won't give up. She runs down the hall screaming.
And the town population drops from 7888 to 7887 …
What did you think of the events that went down at the homecoming dance? Do you believe Toby's tattoo has anything to do with Allison or was it just pure coincidence? Were you surprised to find out he had sexual relations with Jenna? Finally, for real: how cute was Ezra's haircut?
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