The show that saved summer television left us last night with a new favorite word ("glamping"), a new show bad boy (Ian) and nearly three long weeks left in August. I haven't figured out how I will spend my Tuesday nights yet, but I guess there are VMAs to get ready for …
Anyway, it was Mona's birthday weekend and the girls were all invited to Camp Mona, a camp complete with mani-pedi stations, massage tables and a "blow me bar" (Mona's words — not mine). I would happily wear a black and pink Camp Mona tee if I could go there, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves!
The FBI were called in about Ali's murder case (but Detective Wilden was handling it so well, right?) and a video of Ali was shown from the night she went missing. Teasing the camera the infamous kissing rock (Hanna knows clothes, Emily knows make-out boulders), Ali was shown wrapping Toby Cavanaugh’s cardigan around her. Murder solved!
Now if only we could find Toby … of course, he's been living in the backseat of Emily's homecoming-raffle-won-Toyota and he chooses the perfect moment to reveal himself. (It was, admittedly, amazingly scary.) But can't Toby at least open with "Hello"? Popping up from the backseat is no way to treat someone who you are trying to convince that you are not a super-creepy murderer. Live and learn. So, picking up exactly where he left off on homecoming, Toby explains that his mysterious tat is the date he ended his relationship with Jenna (9/11), which just happens to be the night Ali went missing. An honest coincidence, although not the most obvious way to deal with a break-up, but, hey, I have a Chinese character on my back. Tattoos are little more than a mixture of pigment and regret.
Anyway, Toby's game plan is to use his badass reform school connections to disappear for a while, but if Emily is really his friend, she will meet him at the church to say goodbye. Unfortunately, after weeks of searching for boy that totaled his motorcycle (the Cavanaugh family must have a secret for flawlessly healing from tragic accidents) Rosewood PD find Toby first. Murder solved!?
On the other side of the woods, Hanna, who was uninvited to glamping after a fight with Mona, watches for signs of A. She gets an eyeful in her binoculars when she catches a very steamy make-out session between Aria and Ezra. Passions heated up earlier in the day when Aria found a poem Fitzy wrote (and got really quickly published) about her (Oh, anyone who can tell me “B-26” means gets my undying love). Ezra whispers seriously hot pleas for forgiveness while Hanna watches A(!) lurk around the car.
Attempting to reconnect her sister and her ex-boyfriend, Ian, Spencer confesses to the girls that she had "moments" (is that what the kids are calling it these days?) with both Ian and Wren. She sadly realizes she was confiding in the wrong girl all along. Ali harshly judged Spencer, but her illicit make-out sessions don’t phase the other girls. Were either boys your English teacher? Did you kiss a girl? Were stolen Gucci glasses and/or medical records involved? No one is perfect, Spence.
And in a (confusing? unnecessary?) side plot, Hanna's mom faces money problems and fills her Marc Jacobs bag with stacks of cash from the bank she works at. Let’s hope she has good medical benefits though, because her daughter is going to need them.
Despite the fact that the person writing messages in the condensation on Ezra's car is wearing a hoodie in the dark night, Hanna figures out who A is. She runs to meet her friends in a parking lot and in one of the most amazing stunts seen on teen television, Hanna gets run over by a car. She rolls over the top. She lands with a thud on the asphalt. She doesn't move. The girls receive a text from A: Hanna knew too much. Cue Emmy-worthy screams for help.
And in the final scene, we see Ali again, teasing the boy filming her at the kissing rock … it's none other than Ian.
See you in January, bitches.
What did you think of the mid-season finale? Who do you think "A" is now? Were you creeped out by Toby's surprising car pop up? Finally, what was the point of the storyline involving Hanna's mom?
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