by Aimee Curran
Yes, we're back for another episode of the cheeriest show on TV. Last week on "Hellcats," we were introduced to the sis-boom-bah of the Lancer University cheerleading squad. This week, Marti, the rebel-law-student-turned-cheerleader, has rapidly adjusted to her new life of Vaseline smiles and tummy-baring outfits to compete in the qualifying meet. It's a make-it-or-break-it showdown with the heavy hitters of college cheerleading. Wooo!
Marti's nerves are visible, and there's nothing like cheerleading coach Vanessa Lodge's place-or-our-athletics-program-will-be-cut pseudo pep talk to calm her down. That kind of thing always gets people pumped to do their best, right?! As last week's episode left us with resident mean girl Alice inviting Marti's ditzy and almost always seemingly drunk mother Wanda to the meet, Marti is beside herself when Wanda shows up and tries to get backstage. Marti tells her mom to leave and Wanda tells Marti she looks like a tranny with all her make up. Wanda attempts the spit and smudge technique mom's use on their 5-years-olds to get some of the make up off Marti…classy motherly love…you gotta love it. Fortunately, team captain Savannah steps in to escort Wanda out. Marti's potential love interest, Lewis, realizes ex-girlfriend Alice concocted the whole Marti-Wanda meet debacle and chews her out. Apparently everyone on the cheerleading squad is on scholarship except for Alice. If the Hellcats don't qualify they all lose their scholarships. Oh, the joys of messing with people's lives because you come from money.
On to the meet! The Hellcats biggest rival is the Memphis Christian University Cyclones whose team captain Charlotte (guest star, Emma Lahanna) just so happens to be Savannah's estranged sister. While Savannah tries to extend the olive branch, Charlotte snubs her, and it's obvious Savannah's life isn't all perfection and pom-poms after all. During the Cyclone's performance, Charlotte falls and injures herself (cheerleading IS a sport after all), and Savannah chooses to put family differences aside and go in the ambulance with her ice queen sister to the hospital. It's there we see that not only does her sister keep her at arm's length, but Savannah's mother snubs her in the hospital room without so much as a hello. Ouch. WTF is going on?!
The Hellcats can't perform without Savannah, but obviously that's not the end of the road for them, otherwise, what more of a season would this show have? Miraculously the team coach is able to switch performance times with another team, and now the Hellcats have a few more days until their qualifying meet. During this time we see a montage of Marti's hectic life that involves a lot of busty bra shots and low cut tops, upping the sex factor of the show. Bonus for the .000001% of straight guys watching. Marti and ruggedly cute Dan have a deep conversation about who has a tougher life, leaving Marti with a thoughtful "Let me reevaluate everything I have gone through" look on her face.
Cut to the dorms where after a long day of classes, cheer practice and dealing with the inner angst of life's pressures, Marti arrives to find Wanda has set up shop in the kitchen to feed the entire team a good ol' fashioned rib dinner. I gotta admit, it DID look good (and I'm vegetarian), so it's no surprise the team was stoked and embraced Marti's mom. As the dinner—jokes and Wanda loudly proclaiming what gorgeous children Alice and Lewis would have, and all—wears on, we see the wine come out and Marti have an awkward confrontation with her mom about her alcohol abuse. Savior Savannah steps in yet again to smooth things over, and Wanda ends up staying at the dorms. She then trashes the landlord's car with a can of cream colored paint because she wanted it to be sage colored…ahhh stupid things drunk people do No. 847.
Savannah is invited by her mother to join a prayer circle for Charlotte's recovery, but of course it's at the same time as the Hellcats qualifying performance, so it's another tense mother-daughter moment followed up by what seems to be an emerging pattern of a heart-to-heart talk between Savannah and Marti in their dorm room. This time it's Savannah who spills her skeletons. The family's cold shoulder is a result of Savannah leaving Memphis Christian University (a legacy school in her family) for Lancer as a way to get out from under her parents' thumb. Jeeez…and Marti thought she had it rough! Even knowing her mom loves her, Marti doesn't tell Wanda about the qualifying meet, but—OMG—guess who shows up! Yep, Wanda has a Facebook page, and like all nosy mothers, she's friended half of Marti's team and found out about it. Marti is in the process of telling Wanda to get out…again…when she has a change of heart over a sappy one-minute monologue from Wanda professing her motherly love and support. Marti is suddenly over her anxiety of Wanda watching her and tells her to stay. Yay! Family bonding at its best.
That pesky love triangle between the cheer coach, the team doctor and the football coach is revisited when Coach Vanessa receives roses from football Coach Red Raymond and shows up with the football team to support the Hellcats. Of course team doctor and bf Derrick Altman has no clue any of this is going on. Coach Vanessa is acting annoyed, but it's obviously all a set up for what I predict will most likely end with Red and Vanessa in bed.
The Hellcats perform, Marti flourishes and the team wins with 92 points! Go, team, go! Dan takes notice of Savannah at the celebratory after-party and asks her out leaving us hanging for next week's episode when they go out. OMG can you stand it?? Stay tuned to see what happens.
What did you think of last night's episode of "Hellcats"?
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