It’s Thanksgiving, which means lots of turkey and family time and…no new "Vampire Diaries" episode tonight. Boo! To tide you over until next Thursday, we recapped the "TVD" Thanksgiving episode that never was. (Read: This is totally fake and completely from our imagination.) Enjoy!
As with most episodes this season, we begin with a flashback: 1865. Stefan and Damon sit across the Thanksgiving table from each other in silence, unsure of how to proceed with their first Turkey Day as family-less vampires. Stefan decides to keep the spirit of the holiday alive and brings back two live turkeys, which the Salvatores proceed to drain of blood. Thus, a vampire Thanksgiving tradition is born! Wonder if they tried gravy with that?
Back in 2010, our fave Mystic Falls residents are (obviously!) stuck at a town-wide event: Mrs. Lockwood’s annual Thanksgiving dinner, a lavish feast. The guests? Tyler, Caroline, Elena, Stefan, Damon, Rose, Alaric, Jenna, Bonnie, Jeremy, and Luka and Jonas Martin. Randomly, everyone seems to arrive in pairs, giving the party an oddly romantic flavor.
Rose and Damon are the first guests to arrive, and Damon is gingerly making an effort to get to know his new bed buddy. Rose, however, keeps trying to strike up a convo with resident witch Bonnie, since Slater misinformed her that she just needs a moonstone and a witch to break the curse. Dear Bonnie is too engrossed in her own love triangle to notice, though.
Ahh, the Jeremy-Bonnie-Luka love triangle. Bonnie ends up seated between her two suitors and tries her best to pay equal attention to both, but Luka’s warlock status inevitably makes him more appealing to her than poor human Jeremy. As Bonnie and Luka bond over all things magical, Jer sulks by his lonesome. You can come eat mashed potatoes at our house, Jeremy!
Alaric and Jenna continue to be cute and flirty and normal. Yeah, they’re pretty boring. Jenna makes a mean pecan pie, though, which everyone devours come dessert time!
Unlikely duo Caroline and Tyler continue to grow closer over their new supernatural status. Tyler badgers Caroline with every imaginable question about vampires, werewolves, etc., and she obliges while ensuring that Damon is too engrossed in Rose to notice. Quotable Caroline one-liner of the evening? "At least you can still eat human food," she quips. "Blood has nothing on stuffing!"
As Mrs. Lockwood is widowed, the new doc in town, Jonas Martin, seizes the opportunity and seats himself next to the hostess. What do you get when you mix a warlock and a werewolf’s widow? If you ask Mrs. Lockwood, she’ll say instant chemistry! However, Jonas’ flirty banter is all a ruse to get close to her, since he’s in dire need of her son, the werewolf, to help partner-in-crime Elijah break the curse.
Of course, as fate would have it, Stefan and Elena arrive at the Lockwood mansion at the same time, dateless. They’re also the last to arrive, so they’re forced to sit next to each other for the entire meal. Quiet at first, Elena finally begins gushing, once again, about the woes of Katherine and curses and doppelgangers (oh my!), while Stefan tries to work up the courage to ask her to be his GF again. Every time he’s about to bring it up, though, Elena continues her worried rambling. Frustrated, he eventually sulks out of the dinner, leaving an auspicious empty 13th seat at the table…but where did he go?
Silly Stefan. Haven’t you ever read "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban"? Don’t you know, thanks to Professor Trelawney, that when thirteen dine, the first to rise will be the first to die? In the woods outside the Lockwood mansion, Stefan enjoys a leisurely moonlight stroll. Suddenly, he’s attacked out of nowhere and the screen goes blank! CLIFFHANGER!!!
Who attacked Stefan? Was it Elijah, or perhaps even the dreaded Klaus? Will Dr. Martin become Tyler’s step-daddy? Will Rose and Damon officially steal the Mystic Falls lovebirds crown from Stefan and Elena?
Erm… we’re not sure. But be sure to check back next Friday for a recap of an all new (real) "TVD" episode, "The Sacrifice." How did we do "TVD" fans?
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