So I officially want to move to Rosewood. It has far surpassed Stars Hollow as my fictional town of choice. Lucky Leon's Cupcakes? A hospital that can heal a broken leg in less than 10 days? Even the area of Dumpsters Toby chose to hide in and cry is cute. Not to mention that the woods have Wi-Fi, but before I pack my bags for the open room at the St. Germain house, let’s recap.
So "single dad" Chad Lowe and Aria's brother Mike were back! That was exciting. Though can you really be considered a single parent if the other parent lives down the street from you? Mike is still angry and brooding about his parents' separation. Aria, however, understands that love just works in funny ways. And as long as her parents are dysfunctional, dating and distracted, all the better to help her continue sleeping with Mr. Fitz. Ezra continues his grade-changing standoff with Noel. Ezra is a man of integrity, a man with a strong moral compass and he decides that illicit affair with an underage student or not, he will not be blackmailed into handing out an A. The line is drawn. This is Gatsby we are talking about, after all. Instead, he makes the decision to sleep with Aria one last time, put in his resignation and hightail it for the hills.
This is not in A's game plan however, and Noel Kahn has been stepping in and messing things up for long enough. A takes matters into her own hands, planting midterm answers in Noel’s locker and completely undermining all credibility he may have had. No one will ever believe his claim against Mr. Fitz now that he is a known cheater. Aria and Ez are safe to love another day.
Hanna is totally healed from the car crash, which is pretty awesome and A is even starting to return the money she stole. Everything comes at a price though, and in order to keep getting the Benjamins back, Hanna is forced to sit outside Lucky Leon’s and eat a half dozen piggy cupcakes while a bunch of jocks sit next to her and laugh. I thought a hot girl with frosting on her lips would be a turn-on, but I guess not. Hanna flashes back to when Ali taught her how to be bulimic after she ate a whole pie.
Smarty-pants Spencer is still on the case of who killed Alison, even though the FBI has basically settled on Toby as the murderer. "Ali hated old people," Spencer reminds the girls, poking holes in the story that Ali visited her grandmother the weekend before she disappeared—something you think would’ve been talked about, referred to, investigated when she went missing. Spencer, Aria and Hanna go through Ian’s things, looking for clues, while Ian and Melissa try to get pregnant. I don’t quite see where that storyline is going yet…
Emily and Maya get very cute and cuddly all episode until Em’s homophobic mom steps in and ruins everything, going through Maya’s bag and finding a joint. She tells Maya’s parents and they decide to send her to a creepy juvie camp for three months. A little extreme for two supposedly uber-liberal parents and some marijuana...but I guess this is the show’s answer to Emily being sent to Ohio in the books? Before Maya is shipped out, she and Emily fulfill their fantasy of dancing naked in candlelight courtesy of Spencer and the girls.
Of course, the girls come up with nothing. Noel is not A; Toby is not Alison’s killer, but they are no closer to finding out who is. A feeds them a little treat: the complete video of Alison in the woods, co-starring Ian and Ali's bracelet.
Why do you think Ian and Spencer's sister are so anxious to have a baby? Is Noel no longer a threat? Are you bummed to see Maya leave? Tell us in the comments and on Twitter!
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