by Cassie Title
Being a teenager is hard. Especially when you’re a fictional character on The CW and some 1000-plus-year-old vampire is trying to sacrifice you so that he can become a vampire-werewolf hybrid. You stood a chance of escaping him with the help of your vampire boyfriend and his vampire brother (both of whom are in love with you, and let’s be honest, you’re kind of in love with both of them, too—or at least you should be), but then the one you’re not with force-fed you some vampire blood and took away your free-will and such, and then your childhood friend (who also happens to be a werewolf) came back to town because the evil (but incredibly hot) vampire who’s trying to kill you needs to kill him too to break his curse. And did I mention that your other childhood friend is a vampire who also needs to be sacrificed? And all of this is supposed to happen TONIGHT?
You’re probably confused. (But not if you’re reading this. Because you watch the show.) So I take it back. You should not be confused. You should be used to my pseudo-clever ramblings that try to cheekily introduce each new episode of this ridiculous-seeming (but cinematically ingenious) show.
So we’re done with pretense. Let’s start with the curse:
1. According to Elijah, the curse must be broken while Klaus is in transition, (during a full moon), which also means he will be at his weakest.
2. Klaus has to break the curse in the doppelganger’s home (so, in Mystic Falls).
3. Klaus must drink the blood of the doppelganger until the point of her death.
4. In addition to the doppelganger, Klaus must sacrifice a werewolf and a vampire to break the curse.
But wait! There was that minor detail about Elijah knowing how to save Elena’s life. (Personally, I think it’s great how strong of a female character she is, but I find her to be incredibly annoying and if the show wasn’t centered around her I wouldn’t care all that much about saving her life. Actually, brilliant idea, here! Elena should die, and Katherine should take her place and trick everybody! That would be the bankest show ever.)
But since everyone seems to love Elena, she’s going to be saved, obviously. Elijah got an elixir some 500 years ago for Katerina; it supposedly has the power to resuscitate the dead. So the plan is for Elena to go through the ritual, get killed by Klaus and drink this mystical potion to come back to life. That is, until Damon freaks out and wants to make absolutely certain that Elena stays around and forces her to drink his blood. Which means if Klaus performs the ritual tonight, she’ll come back as a vampire. Oh, smack.
So, what do you do if you’re going to die in a matter of hours and come back as a vampire through no choice of your own? Go on a romantic, Thoreau-esque hike with your boyfriend, of course!
Other plot-advancing things that happened:
1. Klaus, through his man-witch, lured Tyler (and by extension, Jules) back to town.
2. Klaus, through his lady witch, captured Tyler and Caroline.
3. Damon saved Caroline and Tyler from the tomb, where Klaus was hiding them. And Matt came to help. Independently, of course. Is his story line finally getting interesting? Perhaps.
4. Tyler had to go and screw everything up by turning into a wolf right after their rescue. I mean, really. How hard is it for a girl to get sacrificed to a super-old vampire without her childhood werewolf friend getting in the way?
5. Klaus suspected Katherine was on vervain. And she seemed to have tricked him into thinking that she was not (even though she was!) And to trick him, it looks like she turned Jenna into a vampire. Oh, expletive.
6. Tyler bit Damon.
7. Klaus still has Jules and Jenna for the sacrifice.
Final thoughts:
1. Damon brought up John Gilbert’s ring as a means of saving Elena. Elijah explained that it only works on humans, and since a doppelganger is a supernatural occurrence, odds are, the ring wouldn’t work. What does that mean for Elena? I mean, we know she was the result of a witch’s spell, but stated in Elijah’s plain prose—it’s almost as if she’s not real, and that her entire life has been a lie—like those kids who were just created to be organ donors in "Never Let Me Go." Heavy.
2. Klaus: "When you spend 1,000 years trying to break a curse, you learn a thing or two." Well, I’d sure hope so. Klaus, you’re supposed to be the most BAD-ASS vampire of ALL TIME. What kind of bad-ass vampire can’t break a curse in 1,000 years? Seriously, man, Damon could probably have done it in five.
3. Now that we know the sun and the moon curse is fake, but vampires still burn in the sun, can we assume that that curse can never be broken? And if there’s such a thing as an unbroken curse, why didn’t the witches make Klaus’ curse unbreakable? Besides, of course, for the fact that the show wouldn’t be as interesting, of course.
4. I don’t understand how Klaus will be in transition. Because his werewolf side is dormant. Explain your mythology, producers!
5. The producers said that next year is ALL ABOUT THE ORIGINALS! I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU. Have you guys been reading my posts?
6. Damon got bit by a werewolf! Julie Plec repeated that anybody could die. "We've got these beautiful men. Who needs Ian Somerhalder?" she joked. Um, I do, Julie Plec. If they kill off Damon—oh my god—I don’t even know what I’ll do. I’d rather they killed Elena or Stefan than take away Damon or Katherine.
Is Elena going to become a vampire? Will Jules and Jenna survive? Where are Jeremy and Bonnie? Can you believe that JENNA IS A VAMPIRE? And what’s going to happen with the sacrifice? Tell me your feelings, tell me your thoughts, tell me your hopes and wishes and dreams. This is a safe place. I promise. I think.
** Hollywood Crush Twitter