Marnie, now housing the infectious spirit of Antonia the 17th-century necromancer, uses her newly acquired capacity for witchery to escape vampire custody—leaving behind one dead fanger groupie and a message for King Bill that shizz is about to get REAL. The bewitched Sheriff Louis delivers Marntonia's message (it's "RESURRECTION!" by the way) then explodes at the hands of a well-placed stake.
Bill brings Jessica over for some exposition—because don't forget, Antonia is a powerful necromancer, and she wants to use her power over all things undead to make every vampire in the world come out and meet the sun. We knew this, but the solution is still agonizing: All the vamps in Louisiana need to get gone, or bind themselves with silver to keep from being forced into the daylight. Yowch.
Meanwhile, Sookie and Eric are still having sex. Everywhere. When they finally get tired, they make a discovery:
"Tee hee! We left our clothes in the woods!" Sook giggles, and then there is cuddling. Eric asks if, despite their not-so-friendly history before he was struck by amnesia, she really wants him to get his memory back. She says yes, but let's be real: Sweet, gentle, sleeveless-hoodie-wearing Eric probably won't stick around once Eric the Vicious Viking comes back on the scene. Will she still want him if he goes back to the way he was? (Sookie's answer: She sure hopes so!)
Unfortunately, Cuddle Time is interrupted when Bill—who still can't look at Sooks without making that yearning face—pays a visit to drop off about a mile of silver chain. Because as long as Eric and Sookie are shacking up, she'll have to bind him up to keep him out of the clutches of Marntonia's spell.
Over in the Merlotte's parking lot, Tara and girlfriend Naomi are unsuccessfully battling the still-decaying Pam, who would never let her melting face get in the way of administering a good ass-kicking. For a minute, it looks like the end for Tara...but here comes the anti-vamp cell phone video crew! The threat of bad publicity is enough to put Pam off finishing the deed; she leaves Tara with the promise to come back and kill her some other time.
Naomi, who's had quite the intro to Bon Temps, begs Tara to leave her old life behind for good, run away with her and be "Toni" forever and ever. Tara, falling back on the classic "everyone who loves me ends up dead" trope, refuses. And so ends Tara's brief visit to the isle of lesbos, and it's just heartbreaking, and how will she ever move on? Well, here's an idea: Out of the woods comes Marntonia, who asks if she wants in on her vampire vengeance plan. Tara's response? She's in! Time for a witch roundup!
And now, with the chessboard set and the strategies in place, here comes the sun—and out comes the silver. Owie owie owwwww as Bill, Jessica, Pam and Eric are all bound with the skin-searing chains. Also, there's some really touching Real Talk sweetness between Jess and Bill, as she worries that her mixed feelings about Hoyt mean the loss of her humanity. Bill reminds her that she's human at her core. Jessica, heartened by this, voices the distinctly nonhuman desire to eat Marntonia alive when the day is done.
Marntonia, meanwhile, has assembled her coven for the witchy equivalent of a pregame locker room talk. Fully psyched up, they begin: The group chants, Marntonia floats off the floor, there's magic in the air...and the spell begins to work. The silvered vamps scream for the sun and struggle against their chains! Across town, Maxine's neighbor wanders out of her house and bursts into flames! And Jessica, stronger than anyone knew, breaks her bonds, kills her guard, drags herself up the stairs and throws...
...open...
...the door.
And roll credits, because it wouldn't be "True Blood" if we didn't have to spend a full week wondering if one of our favorite characters just bit the big one. But in the meantime, here's what else is up:
-Lafayette and Jesus end their Mexican field trip with the revelation that Jesus is the last of the brujos, Lafayette is a medium and the mysterious Tio Luca is the spirit of Jesus' once-upon-a-time big-deal healer uncle. Also, being a medium is serious biz, which is why—in addition to swallowing spooks at will—Laf can also see the mysterious ghostly lady who follows around Evil Baby Fowler and his Devil Doll.
-Andy Bellefleur shows up for his date with Holly, but V withdrawal is making him too twitchy to function. He stutters for a few minutes and then abruptly exits. We wish he'd take this stupid non-starter of a plotline with him.
-Debbie and Alcide are welcomed into the Shreveport were-pack. But Alcide can't help pooping on the party with his concern for Sookie, which Debbie interprets to mean that he's in love with her. And though Alcide reassures clingy dependent Deb that she's the only girl he'll ever want, this conflict clearly isn't over yet.
-Tommy, still suffering the after-effects of his skinwalking stint, ends up in the hospital with what the docs think is food poisoning. Sam, full of concern, asks what happened; Tommy, constitutionally incapable of doing the right thing, doesn't fess up. But when Sam calls up Luna and she's mysteriously furious at him, it doesn't take the two of them long to put it all together...and Sam tells Tommy to go away and never come back. Again. Whatever.
What did you think of last night's "True Blood"? Do you hope amnesia Eric is here to stay? Is Jessica done for? Or will Jason rescue her in time? Tell us all your thoughts and theories in the comments and on Twitter!
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