Everyone's buzzing this morning with the news that the new adaptation of "Les Miserables," that classic libertine story of love, loss and loaves of stolen bread, has just gotten a whole lot crushier: Amanda Seyfried and Taylor Swift have reportedly been offered roles as, respectively, the ingenue Cosette and the tragic heroine Eponine. But if that means a whole lot of nothing to you, don't worry! We've got a handy guide to just what this "Les Miz" thing is all about, with this summary of the four most important things you need to know about the film. So grab a pen, pay attention and get ready for...
Romance!
Prepare yourself for some good old-fashioned wooing, as Marius (Eddie Redmayne) falls for the beautiful Cosette amid the tumult of the June Rebellion. And prepare yourself also for some good old-fashioned heartbreak; when there's only one beautiful boy to go around, someone's going to end up at the wrong end of the love triangle. In the rain. Riddled with bullets.
Bromance!
Jean Valjean (Hugh Jackman) is a man on the run, chased for years by the hard-assed Inspector Javert (Russell Crowe) for various crimes. But Valjean is a good guy, and honorable—so much that by the time Javert finally confronts him, the two men have developed a grudging respect and (dare we say it?) understanding of each other.
No-mance!
Every heavy story needs a villain! In this case: the Thénardiers, a pair of classless hotelier jackasses who get their jollies primarily from bickering with each other, stealing from their customers and abusing their ward, Cosette.
Vive La France!
With its colorful character and political unrest, the 19th-century Parisian setting of "Les Miserables" is practically a cast member in and of itself—and you won't want to miss the posturing and proselytizing of the student revolutionaries as they plan their assault on the system. Think of it as a precursor to Occupy Wall Street. Only with baguettes.
There! Are you ready to go see "Les Miserables"? Tell us in the comments and on Twitter!
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