If you're spending today without a Valentine, we know how easy it can be to just give in to the loneliness. To embrace the single lady stereotype. To binge on ice cream and Fritos, while watching indie romances on Netflix and sobbing into the T-shirt your ex-boyfriend left at your house in 2008, and finally end up in the emergency room after a desperate, unsuccessful attempt to make out with your pet parakeet.
Oh, yes. WE KNOW. But before you call it quits on all things red-hot and romantic, perhaps you'd like to consider spending your Valentine's Day with one of three very eligible bachelors? Because they're all waiting for you! Right this minute! In a dark room, where the two of you lovebirds can be alone...that is, unless someone else happens to buy a movie ticket for the same showing as you. Whatever. It's gonna be magic. So peruse the dating profiles of these lovely leading men from today's new theatrical releases, put on a pair of real pants and prepare to take your pick!
BACHELOR NO. 1
John "Jack" McClane Jr. in "A Good Day to Die Hard"
Type: Blue-collar beefcake
Hobbies: Heists, assassinations, car chases, punching
Favorite food: Cheese in a can
Ideal first date: A prison break
What he's looking for: A girl who can drive stick shift
BACHELOR NO. 2
Ethan Wate in "Beautiful Creatures"
Location: Gatlin, South Carolina
Type: Tormented emo sweetie
Hobbies: Prophetic dreaming, forbidden love affairs, European travel
Favorite food: The small crumb of pound cake that's clinging to his beloved's lower lip
Ideal first date: A long, romantic stroll beneath the live oaks
What he's looking for: The girl of his dreams
BACHELOR NO. 3
Alex in "Safe Haven"
Location: Southport, North Carolina
Type: Wounded widower
Hobbies: General store management, beach bumming, teaching wary young women to love again
Favorite food: This fish, which he caught himself and baked in a papillote with lemon and herbs just for you
Ideal first date: Riding a bicycle built for two, preferably while wearing matching boater hats
What he's looking for: A girl with a secret past
Which of these fine fellows would you like to spend your Valentine's Day with? Sound off in the comments and on Twitter!