The very first teaser for the long-awaited season six of "True Blood" aired this weekend, and oh my gawd you guys, there is some serious bloody, banging, beefcakey Bon Temps goodness coming down the tubes in June. Thirty seconds of rapid-cut madness, and we see something new every time we watch it! What amazing new things are in store, according to this half-minute clip? DEEP BREATH:
The Authority offices are going to blow! Pam will have laser sight-lights all over her bosoms! Sookie will fall face-first into a repulsive mess of bloody vampire goo! Tara will be peeved about something! (...Well, okay, that's nothing new. Moving on.) Eric will look shell-shocked and atypically rumpled! Alcide will rend his shirt and make a doofy growling noise! Rutger Hauer will laugh like a maniac; Jason Stackhouse will make his patented Confused Face! And ooooooh, is that Warlow? All we could see was some wiry facial hair and one nasty tooth, but it seems likely that we've just caught our first corporeal glimpse of this season's new villain.
Oh, and speaking of villains: Evil Bill is definitely a Thing, which means we'll be able to enjoy many, many shots of Stephen Moyer running around in the nude and coated head-to-toe with the blood of Lilith. Hooray!
"True Blood" returns to HBO June 16.
Which moment from the new teaser spiked your excitement?