Here's a "Pretty Little Liars" shocker: Ali is alive and well in Rosewood—at least that's what we learned in the second episode of season three, "Turn of the Shoe." And by "Ali is alive and well" we really mean just her voice, in the form of her mom's creepy-ass parrot (sorry, that was kind of a cruel way to get you to read this recap). To be fair, Ali could still possibly be alive since we don't actually know anything for sure, but all we got this week was an eerily accurate Ali impression from the DiLaurentis family parrot and some more insight into Ali's activities the summer of her disappearance.
The newly returned Rosewood resident and Hanna had some mother/late daughter's BFF bonding time, in which Mrs. D. bequeathed upon Hanna the DiLaurentis pet we never knew existed: a parrot that Ali had apparently bonded with over that mysterious summer down the shore while she was hanging out with a mystery older man who could've possibly been Det. Wilden, but now is looking increasingly like someone else entirely. Mama D revealed that Ali had told her she was hanging down the shore with the girls, but Hanna busted her pal and admitted none of them had gone to Cape May that summer. (Also, in a flashback, we learned that Ali manipulated her mother like a 5-year-old, holding her breath until she got her way. Somehow that is entirely expected. As worldly as Ali seemed, she's not terribly sophisticated with her manipulation.)
But back to the parrot: In addition to chirping out some of Ali's favorite phrases, the bird also hummed a tune that smarty-pants Spencer realized was actually a phone number. (Children, back in the day when you dialed landline phones instead of clicking at the screen of your iPhone while the sound is off, each number had a specific tone associated with it.) Unfortunately, the parrot disappeared (presumably into A's menagerie of random stolen stuff) before she could try all possible permutations of the number—but something tells me the girls won't give up on this so fast.
Elsewhere in Hanna's world, she discovered a muddy pair of her mom's fancy high heels, which isn't terribly exciting on its own. Later, after Mona found out that cops discovered high-heeled footprints next to Det. Wilden's, Hanna realized that her mom might've come back from New York earlier than she'd said. She confronted her mom, who admitted she'd cut her trip short. But don't worry, Mrs. Marin didn't kill Det. Wilden (at least that's what she told Hanna and come on, she's too awesome to be A).
Spencer struggled with a horrifying situation of her own: She didn't get into the University of Pennsylvania, where every other member of the Hastings family has gone. In a very beautiful (and quite heartbreaking) scene, Spencer told one person her terrible news: Ezra. And he handled it in a very lovely way, offering to coach her as she applied to different schools. He was a little harsh about her essay, which he thought was too personal, but ultimately maybe he was right.
Speaking of Ezra, he wasn't exactly on Aria's mind as she took martial arts lessons from Jake, the hunky new man in town. Well, maybe he was on her mind, but he slipped to the background when she impulsively acted on her attraction to her teacher—girlfriend has a type, apparently—and kissed him. She rushed out of the room, but Jake showed up at her house later to ask her on a proper date. Is love in bloom?
Aside from Hanna's awesome orangey-red lipstick, that kiss was pretty much the only fun thing that happened in "Turn of the Shoe." Unless you're an Ezria fan, in which case my condolences, but chill out because they are totally gonna get back together eventually. Even Toby had some bad news this week. He's convinced, thanks to some new evidence A slipped him, that his mother didn't commit suicide. Obviously A wants him to know this for some sick reason, as Spencer pointed out, but that doesn't mean the information isn't correct.
In near-death news, Emily saved Aria and Mona from an A-steered vehicular manslaughter attempt, but majorly bruised her shoulder in the process. Thank goodness for painkillers, amirite? Except, not really, because they made Em's head all fuzzy and she lost count of her strokes, slamming her head against the pool wall and almost dying in the process. Again.
Although everything that happened in "Turn of the Shoe" was kind of a bummer, it all happened with that "PLL" wit we all know and love. What did you think of this week's revelations? Are you finding it difficult to keep up with everyone's storylines? And do you fully trust Mona?