Even if you're not a "Vampire Diaries" fan (WHY AREN'T YOU A "VAMPIRE DIARIES" FAN?!), you're going to want to tune in to "The Originals," the "TVD" spin-off debuting tonight following the "TVD" season five premiere. Why? Well, first off, have you SEEN the faces on this cast? Use your eyes, people. That should be reason enough.
But if you like some substance to go along with your sexy casts, you're in the right place. There are plenty of non-superficial reasons to add the series to your DVR lineup. The show follows the Original family of vampires as they try to regain control of New Orleans, the city they helped found, from the vengeful, power-drunk vampire they left in charge when they moved out a few hundred years ago. Mix in some witches, werewolves, an in-the-dark human and a half-werewolf, half-vampire/werewolf-hybrid baby (so, like, three quarters werewolf, one quarter vampire?) and you've got yourself one heck of a show.
What, that plot description didn't sell you either? Sheesh. Here are a few more things you'll find in "The Originals" premiere that should get you excited for the first season.
1.Elijah. Sorry, that should probably be typed "ELIJAHHHHHH!!!!!" because that's how wonderful he is, and that's how it'll sound when you scream it at your TV screen while feeling sheer joy. Remember how Daniel Gillies was the best? Well, if you don't already (WHY NOT?!), you will when you see the premiere. It essentially recounts the events of the backdoor pilot, only from the best Mikaelson brother's point of view. (I'm sorry, you can try arguing for another but you'd be wrong.) If you're a newbie, be prepared to witness the magical scene-stealing abilities of Daniel, who, in addition to being a handsome, talented, do-gooder, is also a brand new father.
2. Flashbacks. Because there's got to be a quick, accessible way for all the non-"TVD" viewers out there to absorb the show's mythology (again, who are these people?), the first episode comes complete with flashbacks to the origin of the Mikaelson family's supernatural abilities, and how, exactly, they wound up in New Orleans. You know what that means! Awww yeah, flashback hair.
3. Pretty people. Have we mentioned the attractive creatures who populate this CW-approved version of N'awlins? Because they're worth noting again. LOOK AT THEM. Then cry a little because you'll never achieve this physical perfection in your own life. Then look at them again to cheer yourself up.
4. Death. This is a show about blood-thirsty vampires. People are gonna die. People are also gonna be sidelined from action in very supernatural ways. That is an attempt at a vague spoiler, so pay attention and start trying to figure out what the heck it means.
5. Sex. Have you seen how hot these people are? Who could blame them for wanting to jump each other's bones?
6. Betrayal. There's figurative backstabbing, literal backstabbing and plenty more where that came from as Klaus (Joseph Morgan) and Marcel (Charles Michael Davis) jockey for position as king of New Orleans. "Right now it's about putting a plan into place where he can kind of manipulate the throne from Marcel," Joseph told Hollywood Crush in August.
"The Originals" premieres tonight at 9 p.m. ET/PT on The CW, before settling into its Tuesday timeslot at 8 p.m. on October 8.
Will you be watching "The Originals" tonight? Tell us in the comments and on Twitter!