It was announced last October that two new faces would be coming to Rosewood, and last night we finally met the mysterious Caleb (Tyler Blackburn) and Simone (Alona Tal)! Caleb is living up to the hype of "bad boy," but Simone assumed a more interesting role. First, let's get back to Alison’s last QuickTime.

As the girls watched Ali’s hand grip the soil (In pain? Ecstasy? The final throes of death?) for the eighth time, while debating turning the extended play version of the video in to the police, brother-in-law Ian waltzed into the kitchen for some popcorn. I quickly flashed back to episode two, when, in relation to "The Jenna Thing," Spencer told the girls the tragic story of when Ian was blinded in his left eye after taking the end of a lacrosse stick to the temple. Because why else wouldn’t he be able to see himself, paused, full-screen on Spence’s laptop, right? And why else would Spencer wait a full three minutes before closing the lid on murder evidence if she didn’t think Ian could see it? Oh, hey, Ian did see it! And he stole the computer and deleted the file! The Liars are foiled again in their quest to find their friend's murderer.

Alas, there are other things to worry to about: how to call Maya when your phone number is blocked by juvie camp; your teacher-boyfriend falling for someone of legal age; finding a part-time job and pesky school functions.

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It was the final episode of "Life Unexpected" last night, almost a year to the day after it premiered last January, and I have to say, it was a fulfilling series finale. The two-hour event did everything it needed to do to tie loose-ends and wrap up some of the more problematic storylines (Lux dating her teacher, Emma's romantic history with Baze's dad).

Eric finally showed some semblance of being a rational, responsible man. He distanced himself from Lux; identifying with Trey and how he was little more than another older man taking advantage of a young, extremely vulnerable teenage girl. Cate and Baze decided not to press charges as long as Eric resigned and left town.

In the showdown over Lux and Eric’s relationship, Lux revealed to Baze that his girlfriend had an affair with his father. And this was not a one-time late-night-at-the-office rendezvous. Emma and Mr. Basil were together four years! Baze and Emma get together for one last very steamy make-out session before Baze decides he just can't bone his dad's sloppy seconds. That's the curtain call for Shaun Sipos and Emma Caulfield.

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So I officially want to move to Rosewood. It has far surpassed Stars Hollow as my fictional town of choice. Lucky Leon's Cupcakes? A hospital that can heal a broken leg in less than 10 days? Even the area of Dumpsters Toby chose to hide in and cry is cute. Not to mention that the woods have Wi-Fi, but before I pack my bags for the open room at the St. Germain house, let’s recap.

So "single dad" Chad Lowe and Aria's brother Mike were back! That was exciting. Though can you really be considered a single parent if the other parent lives down the street from you? Mike is still angry and brooding about his parents' separation. Aria, however, understands that love just works in funny ways. And as long as her parents are dysfunctional, dating and distracted, all the better to help her continue sleeping with Mr. Fitz. Ezra continues his grade-changing standoff with Noel. Ezra is a man of integrity, a man with a strong moral compass and he decides that illicit affair with an underage student or not, he will not be blackmailed into handing out an A. The line is drawn. This is Gatsby we are talking about, after all. Instead, he makes the decision to sleep with Aria one last time, put in his resignation and hightail it for the hills.

This is not in A's game plan however, and Noel Kahn has been stepping in and messing things up for long enough. A takes matters into her own hands, planting midterm answers in Noel’s locker and completely undermining all credibility he may have had. No one will ever believe his claim against Mr. Fitz now that he is a known cheater. Aria and Ez are safe to love another day.

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It was the second episode since the return of "Pretty Little Liars," and I can already say that this show officially deserves an award for its ability to make everyday objects—lasagna boxes, piggy banks, golf bags—amazingly creepy and full of portent. It's truly a special skill worth acknowledging, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

Hanna was released from the hospital (spleen and all, y'all), but in a wheelchair and home-bound with her broken leg. I don’t know about you, but H stuck in that chair with her leg sticking straight out made me extremely nervous all episode. Rummaging through the kitchen, she does the unthinkable and actually touches a box of carbs. Little did Hanna know carbohydrates are not just things that make you fat, sometimes they are stacks of Benjamins. Hanna's mom does her best to shame her for even thinking about pasta, but she quickly caves and explains that she received an "unauthorized loan" from a private lender at the bank. I have to admire her ability to use professional financial vernacular to tell her daughter she basically jacked all the money from a little old lady.

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So I have to admit, I kind of forgot "Pretty Little Liars" was going to be returning last night until I had to recap the first half of season one. And then I got really excited. And then I found out the show was starting at 7:58! Two minutes early! And then I don't know what those two minutes were about, but that theme song! This show is pure guilty gold.

As we remember from August, Hanna was hit by a speeding car after she thought she figured out who A was. She is rushed to the hospital with a broken leg, broken ankle, bruised ribs and the possibility that her spleen might have to be removed. (Because I know Hanna is so concerned about her weight, I took it upon myself to find out how much a spleen actually weighs—turns out it's less than half a pound. Not exactly a scale-dropping organ if she has to keep it.)

Hanna's mom is pulled over by the police while driving home with the bag of cash she stole from the bank (she amazingly, awkwardly lugs the cash around with her literally throughout the entire show) and the officer tells her that Hanna was in an accident. (Is this town really that small?)

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It's January, bitches! And 2011 is starting off right—tonight marks the return of "Pretty Little Liars." We haven't seen Aria, Emily, Hanna and Spencer and the rest of the Rosewood community since the midseason finale in August, so here's a little refresher on everything that went down last summer to help us get back into our A game.

When we met Aria (Lucy Hale) and crew, they seemed like your average clique of high schoolers, each unique in their own way. Emily (Shay Mitchell) was on the swim team—a quiet, studious jock; Aria pulled the free spirit card—a reader and a dreamer who expressed herself through unusual wardrobe choices; Hanna (Ashley Benson) relished her role as Queen Bee, shopping with her minion Mona and adopting Condescension as her primary language of choice; and Spencer (Troian Bellisario) was neuroticism incarnate, type A to a fault, always in the race to be No. 1 at everything.

But immediately the plot thickened and the girls revealed that they were much more than cliches. We learned that they were all once friends, but after the sudden disappearance of their original queen bee, Alison (Sasha Pieterse), they drifted apart. We learned that they were involved in an accident that left one of their classmates, Jenna (Tammin Sursok), blind, yet with a flawless complexion and incredible designer frames, and that Jenna's brother (by adoption, not blood—this will be relevant by the time you finish this sentence) took the fall for the accident because Alison knew about his intimate relationship with his sister (see?).

Within a few episodes, we learned a lot.

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Just when you thought it couldn't get any more intense, "Life Unexpected" put Lux on the stand to testify against her foster dad whom Tasha whacked on the head with a shovel two weeks ago.

Leading up to this courtroom drama, Lux twisted and undermined her story, alternating between trying to hide the truth and not publicly exposing the abuse she had been through while also using her history to try and save Tasha from jail. Lux sought out her former foster dad, Trey, and tried to make a deal with him: She wouldn’t tell the truth about him if he wouldn’t testify. The badass 15-year-old then went home to cuddle with her teacher boyfriend. Tasha, the sole voice of reason, confronts Lux in front of Eric, finally cluing Mr. Daniels into some of the week’s recent activities.

At the trial, Lux finally tells the truth after Eric confesses that he loves her and that nothing she says will change that. She delivers a tearful recollection of her years with Trey and Valerie; how Trey sexually abused her and Valerie refused to believe her. Nate and his dad lose their cool and dramatically lunge across the courtroom to attack Trey. Cate implores Valerie to remember what it felt like to be Lux's mom and come forward with what she knows. When Valerie corroborates Lux's story, the D.A. presses charges against Trey and Tasha gets two months in juvie. (Poor Tash)

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So without much ado, I think we watched the mid-season finale of "90210" last night! I wasn’t prepared for the show to leave us until the end of January, but then again, I never am.

Adrianna got herself a chihuahua named Beyoncé, a ridiculously insane house (although to rent, not to own) and threw a party complete with ice-skating, elves and the most random celebrity guest list I’ve ever heard of. Justin Bieber, Jeremy Piven and Rachel Zoe? I wonder which writer has a thing for Ari and Bravo? Unfortunately, Aid also pushed Victor over the edge when she refused his house-warming gift, a very thoughtful, cashmere play on her referring to him as a wet blanket. So the baby diva found out there really are worse things than wearing the same dress as Miley Cyrus at the Grammy's. Victor stole Javier’s songbook back and sold her sordid story to every tabloid in town. Poor Aid made it to mid-tier popstar-dom before her tragic fall, but at least she committed to six months on the house.

To add insult to injury, Navid and Silver continued to flirt and talk about their feelings for one another until they finally kissed. It only took an hour, many redundant whispered conversations and at least a dozen longing stares and loaded looks, but they did actually make-out.

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Holidays on TV are always tricky, and the timing is never right. I usually prefer watching the holiday episode before the actual holiday (four days of turkey and stuffing last week left the sight of another bird less than appetizing), but "Life Unexpected" gave us more food after the fact. At least the focus was on mashed potatoes.

Cate and Baze apparently have the intention of making this a great first Thanksgiving for Lux, but as usual, they become so consumed with their own lives and interests that the plan doesn’t really work out as intended. Cate and Baze merge their dinners into one big meal above the still defunct bar, and everyone manages to get invited to the table including Emma and her son, Cate’s sister, Cate’s mom, and Mr. Daniels. Even Baze’s parents cancel their trip to Aruba to eat with the family. So many people, so many secrets.

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90210We're nearly half way through the "90210" season, so it seems as good a time as any for the kids (and adults) to start swapping dating partners. Keeps the show fresh, ya know?

Navid woke up in Silver’s little backyard house (this is at Kelly's, right?), which BTW is totally cute, but also really weird. Although if I had the option of living in my own mini-house when I was 17, I would've done it in a heartbeat. Anyway, flirty banter ensues (if you can qualify whatever Silver does as "flirting"—I think that's what it is) until Adrianna calls. Adrianna's new fame is kind of hilarious. She tips off the paparazzi to her whereabouts, DMs Ashton Kutcher on Twitter and thanks her "non-famous" friends for being there for her. Alas, it's also obnoxious and shallow. She has become a parody of a character with few human qualities. She would serve much better on the periphery delivering one-liners, but until then, we have to wait until Navid finally breaks up with her for Silver. Has everyone realized that Silver has basically dated everyone in their circle of friends? Even the dude who left for Montana, Ethan.

Also dating is Deb. After her sexy night with Ryan, which they decide can go no further, Mrs. Wilson lets the kids put up an online dating profile for her. Dixon goes through some incredible photos of Deb lying on a pillow and eating a banana before choosing her profile picture. Annie makes an appearance strictly on behalf of the group lobbying to bring back suspenders and makes a coffee date for her mom with a man with chronic back pain. Thankfully, Mom runs into Matthews on her way to the bathroom and cures her *cough* boredom.

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