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Ryan GoslingWe could spend the better part of a day listing all the ways in which we're green with envy over actress Eva Mendes, but first and foremost would be her new romance with our boyfriend Ryan Gosling. And as we nurse our broken heart, here she is pouring salt in the wound by playing the hottie's wife in a new Funny or Die video. Ouch.

The clip, titled "Drunk History Christmas," features an inebriated man reciting the classic tale "'Twas the Night Before Christmas," as Eva, Ryan and Jim Carrey (he of the rosy cheeks and a belly that jiggles like a bowl full of jelly) act out the parts.

Of course, we would watch Ryan watch paint dry, but it's especially nice seeing him in a small part that highlights his comedic chops (especially at this festive time of year). Also, who knew those old-timey sleeping caps could look so...hot?

Check out "Drunk History Christmas" after the jump! (NSFW language, BTW)

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With less than a week left 'til Christmas, our mailboxes are being flooded daily by seasonal greetings, holiday hellos and, of course, that inevitable three-page newsletter from the family of overachievers who want very much to wish you a merry Christmas—but while they're at it, did you know that they've run 400 marathons this year and all three of their kids are at Ivy League schools? Happy insecure holidays!

But when it comes to seasons greetings that make us vastly aware of the banality of our own little lives, nobody does it better than the Kardashians. The reality-show tribe has a proud tradition of wowing us with their haute-couture Christmas cards. And today, this year's card hit our inbox... and it's predictably glamorous as hell.

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A public service announcement for any of you whose countdown widget may be on the fritz: Today marks 100 days until the much-anticipated big-screen adaptation of "The Hunger Games" blazes into theaters. Commence squealing in 3, 2, 1...

To celebrate, Hollywood Crush is partnering with Lionsgate for an internet scavenger scramble called #HungerGames100 Poster Puzzle Hunt! Here's how it works: 100 website will each host one piece of a ginormous "Hunger Games" puzzle (depicting the newest one-sheet for the March 23 release). Your job is to search Twitter using the hashtag #HungerGames100 to find each piece, solve the puzzle and upload a photo of the finished product to Facebook, tagging The Official Hunger Games Movie page. After the first person posts the solved puzzle, the entire poster will be revealed.

Click past the jump for Hollywood Crush's puzzle piece and the official instructions.

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We may or may not have done our fair share of internet dating, so we may or may not have seen just about every desperate, detestable ploy used to get a girl to go out with a guy. Yet, we somehow can't decide whether this particular gem falls under "terrible" or "tremendous." (We're leaning towards the latter...)

Let's go back. All the way back. To 2008. When Schmidt, the wannabe ladies' man of Fox's "New Girl" played by Max Greenfield, created an online dating profile video to woo the women of Los Angeles. And, honestly, guy knows his audience, as he hilariously channels the opening credit sequence from a certain MTV series starring Lauren Conrad.

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If you've been salivating over the moody, mysterious, rapid-cut preview for "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo"...well, maybe you shouldn't watch this! Because the folks at Funny or Die have made their own version of this fascinating video—and made sure that we'll never again enjoy the trailer for the first Hollywood installment of Lisbeth Salander's story without also, involuntarily thinking of the words "Jager s---s". THANKS A LOT, GUYS.

(This probably goes without saying, but the clip has some salty language...)

"The Girl With the Tramp Stamp Tattoo" is like a nightmare version of the much-anticipated feature film, complete with a pink scooter, projectile vomit and—yes—a giant butterfly tattoo in That Particular Spot on the back of Emma Roberts. Who seriously sells it, by the way; her performance as "Lisbeth" is so brilliantly trashy that it'll pretty much ruin any goose-pimply anticipation you might've had for the real-deal thriller. But hey, it's funny! Sort of! And we're seriously digging the bespectacled look on Joe Manganiello.

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It's no secret that we love our "Harry Potter" stars here at Hollywood Crush. Even more so when they're embarking on new and intriguing adventures, like Jessie Cave's colorful, quirky, creative website, PinDippy.

Really the best way to understand Jessie's wonderfully fun pastiche of doodles, videos and assorted "stuff," is to head over to her site as soon as possible, especially because she just launched an official "store" section from which you can purchase T-shirts, tote bags and stickers made by Jessie herself. Perfect timing for Black Friday and Christmas gifts!

Hollywood Cruh recently caught up with the lady also known as Lavender Brown to find out more about PinDippy and her post-"Potter" life.

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MAJOR DUH ALERT: We're not the only ones lightly gnawing on our Edward Cullen body pillow in anticipation of "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn: Part 1" hitting theaters today. [Editor's note: Can you believe it's been more than a year since "Eclipse"?] Of course, we'd never want to destroy something as beautiful as the countenance of our favorite vampire, so instead of creating a feathered mess, we're scouring the internets for the funniest, awesomest, amazingest "Twilight" tidbits to sate our bloodlust. And in case you need a hit, we're sharing our findings after the jump.

So... BITE IN:

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You know how people like to say there's a little bit of truth behind every joke? Well, I think this clip of Jonah Hill is the epitome of that philosophy.

If you watch "Late Night With Jimmy Fallon" (or have simply logged on to the internet within the last month), you probably heard about Jonah's talk show rant in which he called out "Glee" star Matthew Morrison for making him the butt of a joke not once, but twice (and in a very public manner). Watch the original clip if you need more background.

Matthew responded in kind with his own video egging on Jonah, which leaves us now wondering where the whole situation stands. And apparently we're not the only ones as Jonah told our own Josh Horowitz in a segment from his upcoming MTV First: "The Sitter" that he's still a bit confused about the whole thing.

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Ryan GoslingBetter late than never, internet.

In the Biggest Case Of The Duhs ever, Funny or Die has declared Ryan Gosling "just nice to look at" in their latest spoofy effort. (It probably goes without saying that we agree times 1 bajillion...)

In this new clip from the comedy website, Mr. Gosling stars in a trailer for "Quiet Ryan," a cinematic masterpiece rated M for Mute. In reality, the video is a mash-up of Ryan's best non-speaking moments from films like "The Notebook," "Blue Valentine" and "Crazy, Stupid, Love." And if the shirtless clip from that latter movie is any indication, sometimes silence really is golden.

Watch the full trailer after the jump!

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Taylor LautnerWith three beautiful years of "Twilight" fandom in the can, fans of the decade's—nay, the century's!—most epic vampire romance have already started to get a teensy bit morose over the cinematic saga coming to an end next year. But now, good news! Summit Entertainment, the studio responsible for the "Twilight" film empire, is launching the Twilight Time Capsule: an official online community where fans can come together, share photos and videos, check out all the official ephemera from the four-film franchise, and rest assured that—just like Edward and Bella's bloodlusty forever love—the world of "Twilight" will never, ever, EVER die.

If you want to know more about the Twilight Time Capsule, head on over to the site (and check out Nikki Reed's instructive video on how to use the portal). But much as we love a good eternal internet gateway to all things "Twilight," we'd also like to create a real time capsule—y'know, the old-fashioned kind that you bury in your backyard—in which to preserve the magic of "Twilight" for future generations. And for starters, we've compiled a list of five things to put in it!

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