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Kristen StewartAfter so many years wearing blond wigs and body glitter as the Cullen family patriarch, we totally understand why Peter Facinelli might want to take a break from big-screen endeavors to try his own hand at stardom of the YA literary variety—which he is, along with a couple of author friends and the blessing of Little Brown books. We can expect to see Peter's first authorial effort, a dystopian tale about a boy named Rose, on shelves in 2015. But why should he get to have all the fun? The time is ripe for all the "Twilight" peeps to give novel-writing a shot! And just in case they're looking for inspiration, we've got some perfect pitches for the saga's three headliners whenever they're ready to write.

For Kristen Stewart: a romance!
Everyone loves a roman a clef, and Kristen's renowned close-mouthedness about her private life will make readers even keener to pick up a book that seems like it might be an autobiography in disguise. Our suggestion: The story of a young actress named Kaitlyn Wartstew, who finds herself cast in a multi-film franchise about sparkly zombies, and ends up embroiled in a high-profile secret love affair on-set with a delicious Brit named Bobbert Schmattinson.

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Despite what you may have heard, life after death is not an endless heavenly party where everyone wears white silk, sits on clouds and eats endless scoops of gelato while the ghosts of Amy Winehouse and Frank Sinatra tirelessly perform their greatest hits. NOPE. Instead, the afterlife is a sad, strange place where the dead are condemned to roam around in office buildings, wearing cast-off chiffon hoodies and insulting the size of people's genitals.

...Or so it would seem, thanks to this insightful After Hours dispatch from the land of the dead, featuring the ghost of Bill Hader. After stopping in for a visit at MTV's offices only to be accidentally slain by our own Josh Horowitz and his grody shellfish meatballs, Bill comes back with a few choice complaints about how much it sucks to be dead. (The primary source of angst: "I can't have sex. I can't eat cheeseburgers. I can't have sex with cheeseburgers." Man, that is awful!) Disconsolate and doomed to haunt Josh forever, Bill embarks on a campaign of terror that mostly involves throwing paper around and making snarky videoblogs for his fellow ghosts. It's an ignominious end for one of the greatest comedians of our generation, and it makes us sad. This might actually be the most upsetting After Hours ever made.

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Start your engines: Chris Hemsworth is going to get pulses racing this weekend with the release of his Formula One drama "Rush," co-starring Daniel Brühl, Olivia Wilde and directed by Ron Howard. And in honor of the film, MTV News' Josh Horowitz has enlisted Chris, Olivia and Ron for the latest episode of After Hours, titled "Fan Lines."

The set-up is simple: Each question Josh asks comes straight from an eager fan. Except, er, somehow each fan is named Josh? And he asks ridiculously inappropriate and/or ill-informed queries. Man, how embarrassing for that fan.

Click play on the video above to watch the latest episode of After Hours!

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When you think of actor Daniel Radcliffe, what's the first thing that comes to mind? [Pause] It's sex, isn't it? It's okay. No, really. Don't be ashamed. We're right there with you. After all, with upcoming steamy turns in "Horns" and "Kill Your Darlings," how could you really associate the 24-year-old with anything else? (We do hear he starred in some sort of kiddie series that was fairly popular in the U.K....)

Anyway, when we caught up with Daniel at the Toronto International Film Festival—being the ace reporters that we are—we had to get his best tips on the art of sex acting. Two words you'll want to remember: Tom Hanks. Learn it. Live it.

Click play on the clip above for the latest installment of MTV's After Hours!

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Jennifer LawrenceIf you're anything like us, you've had the date August 15 marked in your day planner with a bright, shiny Mockingjay sticker for eons now. Because, duh, this most important of days is "Hunger Games" starlet Jennifer Lawrence's birthday! She's 23! Burnt bread for everyone!

Now, we're not trying to be pessimistic here, but topping 22 is going to take some effort on JLaw's part. After all, not only did she get named to Time's 100 Most Influential People list and win an Academy Award for her turn in "Silver Linings Playbook," but she also met Jeff Bridges. So, yeah.

But no fear! We're here to help! As Jennifer's unofficial BFFs, we've planned a jam-packed day that will surely set 23 blazing.

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FROM NEXTMOVIE: This is a whole lot better than fetching lattes or making copies. We think.

Christopher Rosa, intern extraordinaire over at NextMovie, was put to the task: Recite the entirety of "Mean Girls" in under 30 minutes. And you know what? He did it! (While wearing pink, natch).

It's a pretty impressive feat indeed, so be sure to click play on the clip above to see Chris in all his fantastic Plastic glory.

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You know what's weird? Up until literally two minutes ago, we always thought it would be fun and exciting to arrive at a hotel, only to discover that—through some sort of fortuitous front-desk screw-up—we'd actually be sharing a single room with mega-talented actor Sam Rockwell (star of "The Way, Way Back"). Seems like kind of a good time, right? But thanks to Josh Horowitz and the latest episode of After Hours, we can scrub that little fantasy right off our psyche, because this is some weirdo shizz, y'all.

The deal is as follows: In this latest installment of our series, MTV's ubiquitous celebrity interviewer finds himself having a surprise sleepover with Sam...and an unusual guest, who you might recognize from either a) mid-1990s hit film "Pulp Fiction", or b) the first season of "American Horror Story," in which a mysterious latex-clad entity created much hullabaloo in Murder House. (Personally, we'd feel better assuming that it's Evan Peters in there? But you are your own master!)

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Only a Queen could command an audience like this: Selena Gomez, Lea Michele, Bella Thorne, Chris Evans...they were all there for last night's L.A. stop on The Mrs. Carter Show World Tour. But there was one star seen exiting the Staples Center whom we would have never pegged as a member of the Beyhive: "Twilight" actor Robert Pattinson. Clad in his signature MTV letterman jacket (we love you too!), the 27-year-old was snapped leaving the venue following the sold-out show.

Now, Rob is a musician in his own right, not to mention an avowed karaoker, which got us wondering which of Beyoncé's hits would rank in his personal karaoke set list. After the jump, we break down the three most likely.

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How do you pronounce the surname of that tall drink of water who plays werewolf Alcide Harveaux on HBO's "True Blood"? If it sounds anything like "Man Jell-O" or "Mangy Yellow," well, you're doing it wrong. But that's okay! Because the man himself, Mr. Joe Manganiello, is here to help.

In this week's installment of After Hours we present you with "Joe Manganiello's Guide to Pronouncing F---ed Up Celebrity Names." Because how else would you know how to properly articulate tongue-twisters like "Tom Cruise" and "Brad Pitt"?

Get clickin' to learn all of Joe's linguistic lessons. (Which sounds a lot dirtier than it actually is. Unfortunately.)

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Anticipation for Sofia Coppola's take on the true story of teens robbing Tinseltown has been at a fever pitch for months now, but did you know the Bling Ring's hijinks have already seen the screen? And on Lifetime, no less?

It's true! The same-named TV movie, starring "Carrie Diaries" actor Austin Butler, debuted in 2011, hitting essentially the same beats as the upcoming film: rob, rinse and repeat.

Austin played a character named Zach Garvey, the small-screen version of bandit Nick Prugo. We recently spoke with Austin about his time in the Bling Ring, including his brush with the real-life boy he portrayed.

"It was cool, because getting to play a real person who was young at the time—it was wild because he reached out to me [during filming], and I didn't know what to do, really, because I thought it might be too close to home," Austin recalled. "I mean, they came to friends of mine house. It was kind of wild."

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