by Melissa Albert
This week, the fallout from the infamous Finn/Emma kiss is worse than Finn could possibly imagine (or so he believes). But love is in the air for the past and present kids of McKinley, who pair up in ways both foreseeable and surprising.
Finn and Rachel meet up at the Lima Bean for the requisite exes’ coffee date, and he tells her about the kiss. She advises him—Will’s best man, mind—to keep his mouth shut, and Emma, in wedding-planning meltdown mode, seconds the request.
Schue suspects nothing, and he gives the club a very personal weekly assignment: Wedding!!! He asks Finn to sing his best man speech, and names the rest of the club his wedding band. Oy. Not even on her wedding day can Emma outshine Schue’s band of singing children. We’d like to hear what Sue Sylvester has to say about that.
by Cassie Title
Don't you just love it when "The Vampire Diaries"' episode titles are literary references? It makes you feel all cool and clever when you get it. And then it makes you think more about the episode and its name and the reference and how it relates to the episode on an even deeper level! Like this one, "Down the Rabbit Hole." We're referencing the first chapter of Lewis Carroll’s "Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland." And it makes sense, because the title’s become synonymous with going on an adventure into the unknown. Which we certainly did! There were so many parallels; characters from both stories fell down a hole! Alice drank a bunch of things that made her really small and really big! A character may drink the cure to make her not a vampire! Alice saw lots of crazy things in that hole! Our characters saw their dead loved ones in that hole! I could go on and on (actually, I can't—I think I got all the "Wonderland" parallels, except there are some more cultural references, but I’m finding them unnecessary.) Anyway, our show developers (did you catch that credit? Has that been there for a while? "Developed by Julie Plec and Kevin Williamson"? Fancy, guys.) are some clever, clever cats, trying to single-handedly educate today’s youth about classic titles through thinly veiled literary allusions. Good work, guys. Good work.
A Valentine's week episode titled "What Becomes of the Broken-Hearted"? Don't ever change, "Pretty Little Liars." Rosewood seemed to have forgotten about Cupid's favorite day of the year, though, but it's probably for the best as the cherub's arrows continue to fly in all the wrong directions.
Exhibit A: Spencer Hastings. "Spencer is living on Planet Free-Fall," Aria mused, as the girls wondered if she was skipping school. But Spencer wasn't playing truant after all—she was in the courtyard being unceremoniously dumped from the academic decathlon team. As Spence grabbed her sunglasses and stormed out of the school, she spied a message scrawled on her specs: "You rat out T, I take down one of your three. -A"
Never has Hannah been so exposed (both physically and emotionally) than in last night's episode of "Girls," cheekily titled "One Man's Trash." The "Man" in question was, of course, much-touted guest star Patrick Wilson, as 40-something physician Joshua (not Josh). His and Hannah's brief entanglement made for one of the most gut-wrenching plotlines of the series (based on how many times I hid my face under my blanket).
Hannah was working not-so hard for the money at Grumpy's, arguing with Ray over whether she had in fact coined the term "sexit," when the good doctor walked in, asking to speak to the manager. Someone had been throwing the cafe's trash in his cans, and he wanted it to stop. Ray took the complaint as a personal affront, seeing as he trained all of the staff personally, and things got heated, with Joshua storming out (but not before an odd and awe-inspiring demonstration of Ray's corporal percussion skills). Hannah declared the working environment too toxic for her taste and followed after him.
by Ryan Downey
You’d think after how things turned out for his character on "Lost," Ian Somerhalder would know better than to go cavorting about on remote islands. Of course, Damon Salvatore was a reluctant participant in the little expedition led by Professor Shane as most of the gang set off to unlock Silas. We learned that Damon doesn’t want the cure for himself (sorry, Elena!), Stefan does (shoulda guessed that one, Elena) and Klaus is still carrying a torch for Caroline, even as he very nearly killed her.
Damon squeezed out a bit more of Shane’s overall machinations via some interrogation that would make Dick Cheney proud, but the episode ended with the senior Salvatore laying in the woods with a broken neck at the hands of a hunter.
Bonus points to "The Vampire Diaries." writing team for naming this episode after a cool contemporary movie; last week’s "A View to a Kill" shared a name with a semi-awesome ‘80s James Bond flick (and accompanying Duran Duran theme song), which was apropos given Stefan and Rebekah’s bodacious dance to the The Cure.
Speaking of Rebekah, one of the episode’s biggest moments was when she broke down and declared, “We’re all screwed.” But we’re getting ahead of ourselves...
by Melissa Albert
This episode reminds us why Klaine (RIP) was such an unstoppable force of awesome: because even on their own, Kurt and Blaine are the best characters on "Glee." This week, Kurt uses his skillz to deflate Rachel's overdrive ego, and Blaine, well...he had a bad cold. But he still manages to inspire Tina—who has played second fiddle for three and a half seasons—to finally access her inner diva.
Kurt, on the other hand, has to force Rachel's not-so-inner diva back into its box. Since her victory at the Winter Showcase, she’s been treating him like an assistant and surrounding herself with bitchy sycophants. Kurt approaches this problem as only an undergrad at a performing academy could: by challenging Rachel to step to him at Midnight Madness, a late-night sing-off where NYADA students settle their disputes.
"Pretty Little Liars" executive producer I. Marlene King made us a promise late last year: We would soon learn the significance behind "red is the new black." And she made good on her word with last night's twisty "Dead to Me."
Spencer had been coming undone ever since she learned that Toby was part of the A Team, and her downward spiral continued, as she gruffly turned down Jason's request to attend Ali's re-interring ceremony. The other liars obliged, albeit apprehensively. You see, Jason had been talking to the police, who said the the trinkets Ali was buried with were still missing; find the items and find the grave-robber. Except, we know A returned several of the pieces (including Aria's earrings and Hanna's Ouija board planchette) already, setting the girls up to take the fall. In fact, A had 25 chances to frame Emily, seeing as she left more than two dozen post cards in Ali's coffin. One just happened to turn up among Emily's mom's things. (I still can't get over how weird it is that Mrs. Fields got a job a the police station.)
Far be it from me to tell you how to do your job, "Girls" writers, but I think "Homeless" would have been a more fitting title for last night's episode, as a whopping three characters found themselves without a roof over their heads.
First was Eljah. As coked-up Hannah threatened, her roommate received his walking papers after admitting to his short-lived sexual dalliance with Marnie. "I made a mistake trying to re-purpose you," Hannah told him. "Re-purpose me? I'm not a vintage cardigan!" Elijah huffed. Perhaps not, but he was good for an apartment-full of furniture, as his ex George told Hannah to keep all of the decor he bought for the place.
The furnishings certainly came in handy when Hannah decided to spend her JazzHate earnings on a dinner party for her closest friends...including Charlie, his mustard-making girlfriend Audrey and Marnie. (To be fair, Hannah didn't think Marnie would actually show after her major betrayal.) And, as we all could have predicted, the fete was an awkward mess, culminating in sex-toy talk, which Audrey somehow co-opted to air her dirty feelings about Marnie, sending Charlie's ex fleeing to the roof.
by Melissa Albert
The glee kids strip down in this week's episode, both figuratively and literally (but mostly literally). After the Warblers test positive for performance enhancing drugs, the New Directions are ready to re-compete for sectionals victory. The only way to raise bus money? Creating a Sexy Men of McKinley calendar!
But first, in the most surreal "Glee" sequence since Dentist Uncle Jesse gave the kids laughing gas, Marley appears on Brittany’s after-school talk show, "Fondue for Two." Among other, more interesting revelations (Marley is a pet psychic! Brittany’s cat has an online gambling addiction!), Marley admits that she's in love with Jake.
Planning to tell him, she lures him to the empty auditorium, where they sing Christina Perri’s "A Thousand Years." Then she turns to him and says, "I love...this song." Marley love LAMP. Marley love STAGE. Nope, she just can’t spit it out.
by Cassie Title
Well, folks, we’re one step closer to the cure. It all seemed a bit too easy, but considering our show is set in the falling-apart Mystic Falls, the gods were probably just trying to cut our characters some slack.
Damon was still locked up; as long as Kol was kickin’ it, Damon was compelled to kill Jeremy, which would've been disastrous for teenage girls everywhere.
You’ll remember from last week's episode that Elena came up with a brilliant plan: Jeremy was going to kill Kol. Seriously. That was her plan. He’d only have to kill one person, and then every vampire that had stemmed from him would die. Assuming there were as many as we thought there were, the deaths would complete Jeremy’s mark. And, Jeremy would stay alive.