by Cassie Title
Before we get into this week's episode, I want to know: Why has "The Vampire Diaries" never done a Thanksgiving episode? I can see its cinematic genius, crystal clear in my head: There’d be turkeys. There’d be blood. And there’d be people who probably did a road (walking) trip to the famed original Thanksgiving dinner, with the Pilgrims and the Native Americans, using the whole episode to tell us all about how things really went down. (Maybe the Pilgrims were vampires! And we already know certain Virginia natives were werewolves. Maybe it’s like "Twilight" and, like, tons of Native Americans are werewolves! THAT PUTS A WHOLE NEW MEANING INTO THANKSGIVING!) Also, because of the hurricane, timeliness doesn’t seem to be a factor: The CW was showing Thanksgiving-themed episodes, like, two weeks after the actual holiday. Besides, we all know that "TVD" can’t do an episode without some sort of festive occasion. So next year, producers, that’s what I’d like to see. Just in case you wanted to know.
by Melissa Albert
Why so cruel, "Glee"? At the very moment the rest of us are staring down our fourth helping of pie, we get an entire episode based around how amazing the glee kids look in spandex. This week we follow the misadventures of Nightbird (a.k.a. Blaine Warbler) and the rest of his secret society of superheroes, as they attempt to solve the Case of the Missing Sectionals Trophy. Will Blaine return to the nefarious Warblers? Will Marley overcome her eating disorder and break free of Kitty’s evil clutches? Will Sam ever truly be clean again, after wrapping a jockstrap around his face to impersonate Bane? All will be revealed below!
In the middle of a superhero society meeting, a state of emergency is called in the choir room. McKinley’s finest go to investigate: Calling Tarantula Head/Joe! Calling Asian Persuasion/Tina! Calling the Human Brain/Brittany! The sectionals trophy is gone, and a laptop's been left in its place...with a video message from a mysterious Dalton Academy Warbler. They’ve taken the trophy, and they plan on taking the victory at next week’s sectionals, too.
by Melissa Albert
"Glee Geeks Go Grease!" would be my headline, were I the sophomore theater critic of the McKinley Muckraker. But I’m not, so I’ll just break it to you now: the glee kids' production of "Grease" is a major hit! Now, let’s back it up:
The episode opens with Schue’s badly received announcement that Finn will be replacing him till after sectionals. "We’ll all be dead by sectionals!" Tina screams, rightfully assuming that Finn’s going to leave the glee club in a hot car while he goes to get a slushie. Even scarier, Sue uses Finn’s appointment to re-declare war on the arts at McKinley—she’s out for blood after he insensitively referred to her baby’s disability in last week’s episode.
Over at NYADA, Rachel’s bragging to Brody about both her official single-lady status and her upcoming off-Broadway audition. Stars in her eyes, she foolishly suggests that Cassie try out, too. After squinting her eyes into angry little raisins, Cassie suddenly asks Brody to be her new TA. Uh-oh, we smell an evil plot brewing.
by Cassie Title
I'm prefacing this recap by saying I totally knew that this would be the last episode before a hiatus. I have psychic powers, I just felt it. (I also remembered that, for obvious reasons, they usually skip Thanksgiving.) And yes, I'm pathetic in that a one-week absence has come to equal a hiatus in my soon-to-be "Vampire Diaries"-starved mind.
Also, I’m starting to wonder whether I actually still like this show. (I know: blasphemy.) I mean, okay, I obviously do, but week after week, I am just more and more frustrated with certain things. "We All Go A Little Mad Sometimes" was no exception.
The episode began with Elena, hallucinating all over the place. Connor was here, Connor was there, Connor was actually Jeremy, who she stabbed to shut the pesky ghost/hallucination up. Naturally, Elena being Elena (read: a self-pitying, lame-ass chick) was just feeling too much. I mean, yes, I understand you’re dealing with crazy hallucinations of the first man you’ve ever killed, and you accidentally stabbed your brother, which is horrifying, but I’m just so over how annoying and boring and self-righteous you are. Which is why I’m fairly excited for this new development, that we shall talk about later on.
by Melissa Albert
Last time we saw the "Glee" kids, they were singing songs and breaking hearts. But after the hiatus, it seems like everyone but Blaine and his cheatin’ heart has recovered from last episode's breakup fever. In fact, Blaine’s so depressed over blowing it with Kurt that he doesn’t even want to perform in McKinley’s much-anticipated production of "Grease." He auditions anyway, with "Hopelessly Devoted to You," also known as "the Grease song we always fast-forward through." He totally rocks it...but turns down the role of Danny Zuko. He’s just not ready to act like a man in love.
Finn’s still back in Lima, working at Mr. Hummel’s auto shop and longing for a swift death, until Artie asks him to co-direct "Grease." They’re joined by Mercedes and Mike as dance and vocal coach!...because apparently you can take long breaks from a college or musical career without repercussions.
by Cassie Title
You’re kind of fierce. You were totally raging last week, and I get it—you needed to let loose. But it's been almost two weeks, and I’m over it. You make me powerless. Literally. Because of you, I couldn't watch "The Vampire Diaries" last Thursday night. Which meant I had a one-week hiatus from recapping. Which meant that I was not pleased. So when your cousin Athena or whatever started storming the other day, I’d had enough. Yes, I had two days of electricity after a week without, but I’m back to being powerless today. So I watched "The Vampire Diaries" at a family friend’s house. You will not get the best of me. So there.
Cathryn I. Title
P.S. I hate you.
(I figured my full name would sound more threatening.)
See what lack of "TVD" does to me? I start writing hate mail to hurricanes. You know who else started writing last night? Elena. And Stefan. (Is this real life?) It was the return of the "Dear Diary" crap, and although I know it’s the namesake of the show, all I want to say is: We’re over that. It’s so four seasons ago. It’s lame and useless and I hate it. Please stop.
by Ryan J. Downey
A cure for vampirism? "The Vampire Diaries" never toyed with this premise...until now!
Plus, the show's new professor, Professor Shane, was supposedly a friend of Bonnie's grandmother. He seemed to offer a way for Bonnie to practice magic, even. But while he may be a "friend" to her, he's apparently a big new enemy for the vamps.
Last week, even Connor didn't know what this "The Five" business was Klaus was going on about. He's part of "The Five"? What's that? And why does that mean Klaus suddenly wanted to keep Connor (and Elena, for that matter) alive?
This week's episode promised revelations right in the title. "The Five" opened with a flashback to 1110 AD. A witch stood in the center of a circle of what looked like "Game of Thrones"-style warriors. At the conclusion of the spell, they each had those mysterious sort invisible tattoos Jeremy spotted on Connor. They also had swords with the same symbol as Connor's wooden bullets. In the present day, we saw the Salvatore brothers studying said bullets and other personal items from Connor's RV.
And so, the madness begins: With just two weeks left until the premiere of "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2," the "Twilight" cast will be going all-out to promote the final chapter of the saga they've spent so many years with, which means that you'll be able to catch one or the other (or the other other) of the cast's major players on all the usual late-night shows starting right about...now. And first up, is Taylor Lautner on "The Tonight Show"! Everyone's favorite shirtless werewolf took a seat in one of Jay Leno's armchairs last night to talk about "Twilight": where it all began, and, more importantly, how it's gonna end.
Because it was Halloween, Taylor's interview opened with a nod or two to the holiday—including a photo, shared by the actor's mom, of a teensy baby Taylor dressed as Batman. (Alas, Taylor's grown-up Halloween plans included no such costume; he admitted that after the show, he was just gonna go home.) And when the talk turned to all the requisite world-touring he's doing to promote his latest film, the thrills'n'chills theme reappeared once more: turns out that Taylor's favorite stop on the media tour is Australia, primarily because it gives him the opportunity to go shark diving. Scary!
by Cassie Title
Since tons of stuff happened during last night's episode of "The Vampire Diaries," I wasn't sure where to start. So, it's a good thing I take such extensive notes. Here's what I found when referring to said trusty notes. Microsoft Word automatically titled the document (since it happened to be the first line) the following: "Who be this creepy guy outside Tyler's room?" Uh, yeah. Pure poetry, I tell you. And said creepy guy was Connor, our new un-friendly vampire hunter in town. So we'll start from the beginning.
Connor's on a mission to bore me. I mean, he inserted a needle into Lockwood’s teeth to extract some werewolf venom. Seriously. I mean, I’m kind of excited to unravel the mythology around his "invisible ink," but I just can’t see him as a real threat, considering how easy it was for Damon and Klaus to almost kill him.
As promised, one Rosewood resident didn't make it to the end of the line alive during last night's "Pretty Little Liars" Halloween special, set on a speeding locomotive. But the deceased did drop one doozy of a secret before meeting his demise.
The episode opened on Mona (a.k.a. A) in her room in Radley, ominously humming "Teddy Bears' Picnic" while painting a garish face onto a paper-mache mask. Clearly, Mona was not going to let the Halloween train leave the station without her... or her hoodied-helper, whom she passed a handful of pills and bullets!
Meanwhile, Spencer came home to find an unwanted surprise in her kitchen—Garrett Reynolds, who had some intel for her. But Toby interrupted, demanding Garrett leave. "You make it so hard to be a modern post-feminist when you're such an alpha male," Spencer waxed before pulling a copy of Ms. magazine out of her backpack. Or not.