Despite what you may have heard, life after death is not an endless heavenly party where everyone wears white silk, sits on clouds and eats endless scoops of gelato while the ghosts of Amy Winehouse and Frank Sinatra tirelessly perform their greatest hits. NOPE. Instead, the afterlife is a sad, strange place where the dead are condemned to roam around in office buildings, wearing cast-off chiffon hoodies and insulting the size of people's genitals.

...Or so it would seem, thanks to this insightful After Hours dispatch from the land of the dead, featuring the ghost of Bill Hader. After stopping in for a visit at MTV's offices only to be accidentally slain by our own Josh Horowitz and his grody shellfish meatballs, Bill comes back with a few choice complaints about how much it sucks to be dead. (The primary source of angst: "I can't have sex. I can't eat cheeseburgers. I can't have sex with cheeseburgers." Man, that is awful!) Disconsolate and doomed to haunt Josh forever, Bill embarks on a campaign of terror that mostly involves throwing paper around and making snarky videoblogs for his fellow ghosts. It's an ignominious end for one of the greatest comedians of our generation, and it makes us sad. This might actually be the most upsetting After Hours ever made.

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What can fans expect from the first season of "The Vampire Diaries" spin-off, "The Originals"? We're so glad you asked! Because stars Claire Holt and Charles Michael Davis brought their laundry list to last weekend's iHeartRadio Music Festival. Among the items: a lot of hot vampires, war, family, war (again) and waterboarding. Wait...waterboarding?!

"That's not what we do on our show! That's 'Homeland'! Wrong one!" Claire exclaimed, correcting co-star Charles before adding more seriously: "Tonally, it's a little darker than 'The Vampire Diaries,' maybe skewed a little older."

"Sexier. And a little cooler...just slightly," Charles chimed in.

"Being set in New Orleans, it has more of a mystical element," Claire continued.

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We can't say for certain whether Bonnie Bennett is in possession of a Facebook profile, but if she is, it's probably in need of a little updating. After all, "The Vampire Diaries" witchy woman isn't so much among the living after the season-four finale of her CW series—a fact we brought up to actress Kat Graham during the iHeartRadio Music Festival.

"Oh yeah, my status. I'm a ghost," Kat said with a grin.

"I love that that should be a Facebook status," chimed in co-star Candice Accola. "Like, 'Ghost. On the other side right now, BRB.'"

All joking aside, Candice was actually on to something, Kat revealed.

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As fun as it was to catch up with Sarah Hyland at last night's Emmy Awards, it's not really TV we want to talk about with the "Modern Family" actress. NOPE. 'Cause the role we're all waiting to see her play isn't some small-screen business; it's the big, bloody, beeeeeaauutiful part of Natalie Dashkov, unassuming member of the St. Vladimir's student body, in "Vampire Academy."

Fortunately, it turns out that Sarah is as psyched about the film as we are—and just as invested in seeing a movie that's faithful to its source material. After confessing to being an avid member of the Harry Potter fandom, the actress talked about the difficulties in adapting a much-loved literary series for the big screen without losing anything essential in translation...especially when, as far as fans are concerned, it's all essential.

"There’s always going to be something that’s missing," she told VH1 on the red carpet, "but 'Vampire Academy' actually stays really true to the book."

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It's a happy ending for Adam Pally after all! The former "Happy Endings" star has just been named a series regular on "The Mindy Project."

Although Adam has yet to appear on the just-launched season two of "The Mindy Project," The Hollywood Reporter has confirmed that he’s already booked a regular gig on the show after initially signing on for a recurring role. But, we’ve got even more information for you.

We had the pleasure of chatting with Mindy Kaling earlier this week, and she revealed some details about her practice’s latest addition. “Pally is my favorite, and he plays this guy Peter Prentiss, who kind of takes over after [James] Franco leaves,” she explained. “And he is a Dartmouth undergrad/Dartmouth medical school grad.”

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Start your engines: Chris Hemsworth is going to get pulses racing this weekend with the release of his Formula One drama "Rush," co-starring Daniel Brühl, Olivia Wilde and directed by Ron Howard. And in honor of the film, MTV News' Josh Horowitz has enlisted Chris, Olivia and Ron for the latest episode of After Hours, titled "Fan Lines."

The set-up is simple: Each question Josh asks comes straight from an eager fan. Except, er, somehow each fan is named Josh? And he asks ridiculously inappropriate and/or ill-informed queries. Man, how embarrassing for that fan.

Click play on the video above to watch the latest episode of After Hours!

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The twerking and tonguing were just the beginning, y'all: Miley Cyrus is actually on fire, and she's not slowing down until she's become the artist she's always dreamed of. That's the takeaway from this trailer for upcoming documentary, "Miley: The Movement," which follows Miley backstage, on tour, into the recording studio—and onto a couch for a little bit of snuggle-up time with Mama Cyrus, of course, because the girl is still a human being who needs love, too.

This documentary is a behind-the-scenes look at Miley's quest to redefine her image, starting off with a bang (also known as "the twerk heard 'round the world") at this year's Video Music Awards. And if that moment shocked you to the point where you're still talking about it, well, that's exactly what the woman intended:

"You're always going to make people talk," she explains. "You might as well make them talk for two weeks, rather than two seconds."

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Would you like to have Stephen Lunsford and Michael Trevino whisper some sexy, sultry, bloodlusty little nothings in your ear...at the same time?! Then go ahead and thank the illustrious Magnus Bane for this aural menage a trois: The two handsome gentlemen who'll be respectively responsible for narrating Bane Chronicles audiobooks Nos. 5 and 6 are talking about their foray into the world of literary fantasy, and we've got EXCLUSIVE excerpts upon which to feast your ears. (The bad news is, these are audio-only, so you can't see the sexy men. The good news is, these are audio-only, so you can totally close your eyes and pretend that the sexy men are sitting right next to you with no clothes on.)

Stephen Lunsford is the man in charge of bringing Cassandra Clare's "The Rise of Hotel Dumort" to life on audiobook, as he narrates the adventures of Magnus Bane against the glittering backdrop of the Jazz Age; Michael Trevino will voice the next book, "Saving Raphael Santiago," in which Magnus searches the streets of 1950s New York for a mysteriously missing child.

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Forget the last lingering warmth of summer or the crisp chill of fall; this year, the best YA romance is happening when temperatures drop below zero. Just look at the ice cold hotness of this new, exclusive trailer for "Frozen", the sexy new fantasy from husband-and-wife writing team Melissa de la Cruz and Michael Johnston, and tell us you're not ready to snuggle up with a warm blanket, a hot toddy, and some steeeeeamy forbidden brouhaha with a snowshoeing mercenary.

The story goes like this: the world as we know it has ended not in a blazing, fiery inferno, but with a new ice age — and the glittering glitz of Las Vegas is now a frozen city, surrounded by treacherous silver tundra full of dangers beyond imagination. But for Nat, a blackjack dealer with a secret, the uncertain wilderness outside the city lines may be her only way to safety. Enter Wes, the leader of a team of mercenaries who promises to show her the way. Will they make it? And more importantly, will they make out? The mystery is killing us, but we'll only have to wait one more day to find out whether Nat and Wes become a couple, or a couple of human popsicles; "Frozen" is on sale September 17.

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If you weren't already psyched to the gills about the start of football season—and considering that the next several months will involve multiple chances per week to watch beefy men in spandex pants rolling around on the grass in buttcheek-rippling slow-motion, we don't know why you wouldn't be!—then this EXCLUSIVE video intro for Simone Elkeles' new YA series, "Wild Cards," should definitely get you there. (Don't believe us? Just click, watch and hang in there for the one-minute mark where a young Ashton Kutcher look-alike strides out wearing nothing but an artfully-wrapped towel.)

"Wild Cards" is Simone's latest, and it's got all the steamy romance and exciting drama that fans have come to expect. This time around, the action takes place in small-town Illinois—where high school football is big, y'all. The heroine is one Ashtyn Parker, a talented kicker who just wants to win the athletic scholarship that'll help her escape to college; the unlikely hero, a brooding city boy named Derek who might be able to change Ashtyn's life in more ways than one.

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