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Vampire Diariesby Cassie Title

Last we left Mystic Falls, Stefan had completely botched the plan to kill Klaus by saving that crazy hybrid’s ass. And he did this, you'll recall, because Klaus was one step ahead of our fair heroes: If he died, he had all his hybrid minions ready to kill Damon. And Katherine found this out, and convinced Stefan to tap into his humanity to save Damon, and then to klepto those coffins Klaus carts his family around in. To exact revenge. Of course, Damon and Elena and everybody else didn’t know all of this information; they just thought Stefan was lost to them forever. So Klaus killed Mikael, skipped town, granted Stefan his freedom and Stefan skipped town, too. Or so we thought…

So, to ease us into this fairly action-packed triumphant return of an episode, we will start with the best quote of the evening:

Damon: "Oh, c’mon. I can’t drink all this by myself. I mean, I can, but then somebody’s getting naked."

Of course, he is saying this to Alaric at the Grill, because as we all know these two guys can’t get enough of this watering (alcoholing) hole. And just as he delivers this line, some random chick (waitress?) smiles. Get away, random waitress chick! If anyone’s getting naked with Damon, it’s going to be Katherine (GOD, I wish she was back already), or Elena, or me… I mean, what?

Okay, let’s get down to business.

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Vampire Diariesby Cassie Title

If Mystic Falls wasn’t enough of a weird, supernatural vortex for you (vampires, werewolves and hybrids, included) than last night’s influx of ghosts must’ve made you pretty happy. You know who else was pretty happy? Basically, no one. Starting with...

Damon. As the episode opened, dude was tied up and bound in a chair. I, for one, had a sneaking suspicion that this was not going to turn into the S&M scene we’ve all been waiting for, but a girl can dream. Who had tied Damon up if it wasn’t sexy Katherine (is she alive?!), or finally-succumbing-to-the-tension Elena, or evil-ripper Stefan? Mason Lockwood, of course! The dead, ghostly werewolf. Damon couldn’t see him, but using his smarts, figured out that the torture scene that unfolded was parallel to the scene in which he killed dear Mason. So, he went to find...

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Vampire Diariesby Cassie Title

As per usual, so much crazy stuff happened on last night’s episode. Like, Tyler was creepily loyal to Klaus! The kids actually went back to school! Stefan and Rebekah enrolled too! Matt tried doing some magic for dummies and then Bonnie had to reverse the spell! And Jeremy totally emotionally cheated on Bonnie with Anna, again! But, as you may have expected, I don’t really care about any of it, because all I can care about is the fact that Katherine succeeded in awaking Mikael. AND HE STARTED TO FEED ON HER! THAT IS RIGHT! THE VAMPIRE WHO KILLS OTHER VAMPIRES MAY HAVE KILLED KATHERINE AND I AM FREAKING OUT LIKE NEVER BEFORE AND IF SHE IS DEAD I SWEAR TO EVERYTHING THAT IS HOLY THAT I WILL NEVER, EVER, EVER FORGIVE JULIE PLEC AND KEVIN WILLIAMSON.

Ahem. Apologies for the outburst. Now that I think about it, I do kind of care about the other things. Just not as much as I care about Katherine. OMG, I can’t even type her name without freaking out. Somebody help.

OK. Let’s focus on something calming. Like explaining every not calm, incredibly crazy-important thing that happened last night.

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Vampire Diariesby Cassie Title

All I wanted was a little Bonnie and Clyde. You know, Katherine and Damon, road-tripping across the country, robbing banks (like they’d ever need to—Kat’s the only vampire I know who’s ever used/stolen money), killing people and causing general mayhem. And that’s what it looked like I was going to get. There was even a kiss! A kiss such as I have been waiting for since Katherine told Elena that she loved Damon, too! And it was hot! Really, really hot! And then Damon abruptly ends it, explaining: "Thought I’d give it a shot. Truth is, you just don’t do it for me anymore." My god, Damon. 145 years and it takes you a month to get over it? Come on. It does it for me! Why take away my pleasure at seeing you two together? I mean, really. Elena is SO lame compared to Katherine. So, so lame.
And, speaking of lameness, Matt is the ultimate lame-o. We’ll get to that in a second. In fact, we’ll get to it right now.

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Ian Somerhalderby Cassie Title

Damon may have tried to kill two people, Katherine offed one, Jeremy talked to his ghost girlfriend as though she were alive, and Stefan was all gruesome drinking human blood, but the most disturbing behavior was my own for even giving this episode two minutes of my recapping time. Sure, a couple of important things happened, but compared to last week’s, and my high, high hopes of excellence, this episode was bo-ring. I want history, magic, mystery, and then when you think there's enough in it, I want more. And I want it in next week’s episode. And I’m totally in a position to be making such demands.

In my disappointed state, here's what I have to say:

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Vampire Diariesby Cassie Title

You know when your favorite TV series goes on hiatus for four months, and you’re so obsessed with its fictional world that you start to expect the characters to miss you as much as you’ve missed them? And you secretly "know" that they’ll return, in all their supernatural, dramatic glory at 8 p.m. on September 15, unbearably miserable because they’ve been without you all summer?

Yeah. Welcome to my pitiful existence when "The Vampire Diaries" isn’t on. And just to add salt to my already very deep wounds, the Mystic Falls gang has been busy all summer, not missing me in the slightest. Here are all of the really cool things they’ve been doing besides commiserating with my loneliness, they caused.

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Kayla EwellIf you thought Vicki's return to the "The Vampire Diaries" was going to be a peaceful one, guess again. While death may have tamed her, Casper the Friendly Ghost she most certainly is not.

Yesterday we caught up with Vicki's real-life alter ego Kayla Ewell to chat about her guest appearance on "The Glades" (airing Sunday at 10 p.m./ 9 C on A&E) and talk inevitably turned to our favorite CW series and, more specifically, how Vicki has changed since joining the after-life and how her return will affect Bonnie (Kat Graham) and Jeremy (Steven R. McQueen).

"Did death reform her? Of course it did. But it didn’t change her completely," Kayla said. "I’m still going to be a little bit of the trouble-maker, and I kind of just don’t know any other way to be."

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Steven R. McQueenGood news "Vampire Diaries" fans! After countless impostors, the real Steven R. McQueen has finally(!) joined Twitter, The CW confirmed.

"I know, I gave into twitter. Thanks for responding to my neglect with all the love. You guys rock!" Steven tweeted from the handle @McQueeninchains, along with a picture of a totally adorbs dog (how much do we love that he's already about the Twit pics?).

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Deadly vampires. Cunning werewolves. Powerful witches.

Over the past two seasons of "The Vampire Diaries," Bonnie (Kat Graham) has faced 'em all with ease. But now, she's up against an entirely new kind of enemy: the ex-girlfriend. Two, actually. Both of whom have come back from the dead to haunt her boyfriend. Talk. About. Baggage.

We caught up with Kat recently at the Television Critics Association red carpet where she told us that she's not yet sure when Bonnie will find out about Jeremy's (Steven R. McQueen) recent "visitors." But if or when (we're going with the latter here) she does, fans can definitely expect to see a little of Bonnie's possessive side come out.

"We've seen her crushing, falling in love but we've never really seen her be the jealous girlfriend," Kat told MTV News. "So that would be kind of cool to explore."

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Time for the third installment of Hollywood Crush's Celebrity Sorting Hat! In anticipation of the release of "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2," all week we've been posing the question: "What if your favorite star went to Hogwarts?" More specifically, what house would they end up in? We've already asked you to weigh in on the "Twilight" coven and some of the hottest pop stars around, and today we're turning your attention to the comely cast of "The Vampire Diaries."

Is Ian so Ravenclaw? Would Nina fit right in in Gryffindor? Cast your vote for where the actors (repeat: the actors, not their TV characters) belong. As a refresher, we've put a description of each house at the bottom of this post. We'll reveal the results next week!

In the meantime, don't forget to visit MTV Movies Blog to vote in their Harry Potter World Cup!

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